Saturday, February 25, 2006

What a waste


What a waste of a Saturday. I only woke up around 2p, and then the whirlwind began.

Kat and Eric came over, and they also brought Drew with them (for muscle). They started moving some of their stuff today. I finally got a spot to put my 2 fondue sets. Now I also have a whole bathroom unit to myself, so I tranfered everything from my night table to the bathroom, which is great cause now I have an actual night table. To put....night-tably stuff on it.

I'm not feeling very inspirational at the moment, so I'll come back later and pepper up this post with my usual embrassing stories and casual humour. I'm going to eat at Pho-Bac, the best tonkinese soup in the whole city, I'm sure I'll get some ideas there.

Friday, February 24, 2006

friday afternoon slavery

I am so bored.

I have been reading up on curling rules. CURLING. THAT'S BAD.

They shouldn't allow offices to stay open beyond 2pm on Fridays. It's not fair. They should pay us the same amount but let us go free into the wonderfully sunshiny world.

They should NOT keep me stuck here on the top floor rolling my thumbs! I'm wasting brain cells!


hahahahahaha SEX

Erotic Thriller

You've made your own rules in life - and sometimes that catches up with you.
Winding a web of deceit comes naturally, and no one really knows the true you.

Your best movie matches: Swimming Pool, Unfaithful, The Crush

Your Stripper Song Is

Super Freak by Rick James

"That girl is pretty wild now
The girl's a super freak
The kind of girl you read about
In new-wave magazine"

Freaky? Yes. But you're also pretty darn funny.

What type of drink am I?

You Are a Bloody Mary

You're a fairly serious drinker, who's experimented a lot with different drinks.
You're a drunk, but a stable drunk. You don't ever let your drinking get out of control.


Speaking of Silent Hill:

I actually did not know that they made a movie out of the game...Am I out of the loop of what? I remember playing Silent Hill 3...or was it 4? Anyways, your like some dude who's in this town, and it;s deserted right? And you go search building and stuff, and then you get a bat, and just in time too, cause there's these weird alien-zombie type creatures that attack you every once in a while, and they fart on you and it's poisonnous farts or whatever. Then you have to beat them with the bat until they die.

Honestly, I wasn't exactly into the game, whenever the alian/zombie guys came after me I screamed and made my character run the other way. It's true, I'm ashamed to admit it.

My favorite game is probably the Halo series. I love both installments very much, so much actually, that after waiting 6 months for the release of the second one, I stole Matt's xbox and the game, and proceeded to play it for 6 hours in a row, in my basement, in the dark. And I also regret to say that in my frustration against the "Brutes" who were mercilessly killing me, I got so upset that when my face screwed up with anger and I was about to swear at the TV screen, I popped a vein in my eye. Yes, it's so embarassing, but the emotions were too strong!

Fucking Covenent! Don't you get it? The great journey is a LIE! *dramatic music*

5 days to go before I go see Chris, I'm no longer sure if I actually am going there out of want or out of remorse because he paid for the ticket out of his own free will. I've also decided that I will be purchasing a pair of shoes on Tuesday, even if I cannot afford it (which I really can't). Either new Lacoste's or the Burberry "espdrilles" with the wrappy thingy on the ankles.

I can't WAIT to get paid so that I can be poor.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

ass, titties, ass and titties, ass ass titties titties, ass and titties

Just watching Chappelle's show season 2...makes me remember last summer with Kat.

Bear with me here, I promise I'll only be depressing tonight and tomorrow I'll write funny stuff again.

I know she doesn't believe me, but I don't think we're going to see each other much anymore... Her and Eric are starting a new life together, more family oriented, and I don't wanna think marriage or kids for until I hit 30...Ten years! I don't know, it's depressing but I think I've lost my best friend.

I think that jelousy is an ugly emotion. However, one of Kat's co-workers lives where they're moving too, literally down the street. And they were both here a few weeks ago laughing about how they were going to be together all the time, etc etc. Well fuck that. I mean, the boys are my friends, I don't enjoy friendships with chicks that much, they get on my nerves with their boy talk blah blah. Listen ladies, there is more to life than having a man in your life. Don't you people want to meet new people, have a career? Travel the world? I think it's lame. I don't mind being with someone, as long as I get my space, and they let me live my life. It's only fair. Yeah, the chick who's gonna be with Kat everyday (probably) I don't like her much, she's sweet, and theres no reason for me to be hostile. But I'm acting like a ugh bad comparison. Anyways, you know what I mean.

So Kat's basically going out of my life, she's got better things to do than hang out with a girly-dressing, jaded, partying, drinking girl who's more comfortable around the boys than clucking girls. I'll miss her though, I'm not the kind of girl who dreamed of her wedding as a kid, my parent's are divorced and I always thought marriage was crap. I'm still not sure where I stand on the subject, but I always thought that if I were to get married someday, she would be my bridesmaid (or maid of honor, if I have just one person, she's just my bridesmade right?)

I remember going to Carlos & Pepes with Kat, Eric and Dre. And when we left, me and Kat were dancing down Peel to the "Gay America Skit" where the gay gardner dances to "Ass, Titties" and prances on the lawn. I remember Dre walking fast ahead of us, trying to lead people to believe he didn't know us.

Ah crap, this is depressing, I promise I'll write something funny tomorrow.

Dear Reader:

Hey, I'm talking to you. Yeah you, you heard me.

Why do you people read my posts but don't comment? I know for a fact you read them because you tell me about it afterwards. But I look like a loser, sitting here, with no comments.

I even wrote nice things about you (KAT, DANY, CAS).

You bunch of bums.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Golden Boy: In-depth part one


Well, I'm going to give you the history. Around July-August, I joined Lavalife for about 3 weeks. One of the guys I was chatting to was a boy named Dany or "golden boy". We got along well. Then he got a job downtown, and we were thinking about meeting up for lunch, you know? We were both curious, it's human nature. Don't look at me like that!


Where was I?

Right, human nature. Anyways, I met Renato (see post titled For Your Reference for your....reference) Yea. Me and Renato exchanged digits, and he called me a week later, and asked me if I wanted to join him and his friend for a drink at the old orchard. So I said yes. So he came over to the flat with his buddy whom he introduced as Dany. Fine you know?

While they sat in the living room with Kat, I got changed (I was in my boxers, can't go out like that). I heard them taking outside the door. Then Kat asked Dany what he did for a living. He goes "I work for *** company." I froze. Like a rabbit. Because, That's where Golden Boy worked.

I ran out of my room looking like a mad woman and asked him: Your name's Dany? And you work at ***? Daniel ***(last name)?
He hadn't told us his last name. He was as shocked as me. And so was Ren. lol

That night was awesome, we joked around, had a few pints, it was fun. I actually got along with Dany better than with Ren. We have the same sense of humor, and we have some of the same sayings, and weird ones. I thought I was the only one. So that's how we met.

One of our..."adventures" or near death experiences, is when we all went out to the Bifteque (the bar on St-Laurent) and then we drove back to the DG. Dany was in one car, me, Nils and Thomas were in Ren's car. Might I add that Ren's car is a Dawoo, that brand that existed for about 8 months??? A piece of shiiiiiite. Anyways, he decides to turn north on de la Montagne (we're on Sherbrooke) cause he thinks he can reach Cote des neiges...ahem, right. It's a dead end, and it's a steeeeep hill.

Dany is following us, and Ren get's the brilliant mature idea to stop the car at the top of the hill (its a steep drop, and Ren turned the car to face downhill) and run out and punch Dany. Don't ask, I don't get it either. So, he turns the car off, leaves his door wide open and runs out to hit Dany who's directly in front of us. I'm in the passenger seat, Nils and Thomas in the back.

You guessed it. Yup, Yup, that's EXACTLY what happened.

The bloody fucking piece of shit starts rolling down the hill. I screamed, and grabbed the handbrake and yanked as hard as I could while I turned the steering wheel, because we were about to hit Dany, his car, and the brilliant Renato who's standing there. Nils jumped in the front seat and pumped the breaks while Ren ran to the car and tryed to hold on to it. JESUS.

I aged like 30 years. 30 YEARS.

Let's just say I rode with Dany the rest of the way. Crazy brazilian (Ren).

Okay, that's my first installment. I gotta go do my laundry, but I'll continue in due time.

Prancing round 2

From : "Jeremy C"
Sent : February 20, 2006 6:19:10 PM
To : "Monika M"
Subject : RE: none needed

lol. maybe you'll have me over one night for a visit!

Your horney friend in waiting,


From: "Monika M"
To: "Jeremy C"
Subject: none needed
Date: Mon, 20 Feb 2006 12:55:55 -0500

Hey you,

I found a roommate, so I guess he'll have to deal with the half naked-ness. Oh and by the way, i do NOT prance! I strut!


Monday, February 20, 2006

Golden boy

Dany, for your information, I will make an entry just of you, and our many adventures.

Capish? I have to leave but it'll get done!

Sunday, February 19, 2006

For your reference:

Okay, some people (DANY) are upset because I haven't mentioned them as much as they would like. So here's a list so that people stop harrassing me:

Kat: my was-roommate (well, until next week she's my roommate). She's Eric's girlfriend of three years. She's half philipino, and half french canadian. She's anglo, but speaks french. My best friend. The only chick I can stand. The most level-headed person I've ever met. I love her like a sister. She's an extention of me, which is a rare thing to come by. She stands me, even when I'm in one of my impossible moods. I can tell her everything and anything. She's got a heart of gold. She's hot, has a badonk-a-donk to be proud of and is just gorgeous in every way. I'll miss not seeing her everyday.

Eric: my was-roommate (see above). He's like a brother to me. I have a lot of fun with him. He's amazing at calculating sums in his head, like a human calculator, it blows me away. One of the people who makes me laugh the most. He's made me feel safe and had been very supportive when I went through a hard time with my ex Matt. Eric was the person I relied upon for advice and guidance when me and Matt were having problems. I love him like a brother, and defend him like one whenever anyone picks on him. We used to wrestle, but he learned not to mess with me. I'll miss our weekend morning chats, when I used to bring him his coffee when he first got up.

Andrew: I met him through Matt. He ended up opening up to me more than he did to Matt. He was very supportive during the break-up, and always tried to protect me when people attacked me. Very generous man, he's got a big heart. He'd give you the food on his table in order to make you happy. Unfortunatly, some of the boys have taken advantage of him because of his generosity. He's sweet as sugar.

Teron: Teron is one of my boys. I love him a lot too. He's funny, the one person who makes more sex jokes than me. He's my insurance man, making sure I'm stable for the future. We go for lunch together sometimes, because he works across the street from me. He can be...single-minded, but he doesn't realize it, so he's not too blame.

Dany-boy: We met under very weird circumstances, but I'll never regret meeting him. He's one of my good friends. He's very very very smart. I can tell him anything. He's a lot of fun to hang out with, and I'm blessed to be able to call him my friend. He makes me laugh, always, and there's not one bit of selfish-ness in him. He's the golden boy. "Let me tell you the difference between limes and limes!"

Jamie: He and I met on the bus one day. And we kept talking. And now he's a very good friend of mine. He asks for my advice often, which makes me feel needed, and it's a nice feeling. He's a gifted photographer, and he'll be famous for either that, or his writing skills (he does freelance) and I'll be in the crowd cheering him on when he does.

Destin: He went to high school with Kat. He works at the restaurant across the street from my flat. He is the greatest dancer I've ever met. He's the funest person to go clubbing with. He's a good friend. He's a sweety.

Renato: He and I met on the subway this summer. He stared at me, I stared back. He got off at Villa, and he asked me out for ice cream. It was nice. We kind of was more like hide and seek. He's...petite, and by that I mean that he's shorter than what I'm used to :5'4-5'5. And he's lean. He made me feel fat. I liked him but I wasn't over nacos, so I wasn't much fun. But I wasn't interested, and it made him want me. The thrill of the chase. He caught me, and that was that. We're friends now, and I'm happy it turned out this way.

Cody: He works at the same place as Destin. The weird thing is that he was a year below me in High School, but I didn't remember him, I was either high or drunk for most of my high school years. He's a hoot. I have so much fun with this guy.

Brock: One of Teron's childhood chums. One of my boys. He's hilarious. He's my big teddy bear. Go Brock!

Gael: Perhaps the smoothest frenchman to hit the north american shores. A great guy, awesome driver i.e. Eric's bday, 3am, racing up the mountain at 160km an hour in his beemer, me laughing my ass off and screaming in the backseat. Vive la France!

Jay G: Also one of Teron's chums. Now one of mine. His mum works with me, and she has fun torturing me by saying things to me on Monday mornings such as : "you bad girl! I heard what you did saturday night!"

Liz G: Jay's wife. The most sarcastic person on the face of the planet, and I love her for it. She has the biggest boobs I have ever seen in my life. I stare at them instead of her face when we talk sometimes.

Nikki G: Jay's older brother. He's...nikki....*ahem*

Ian: He means well, but he also annoys the hell out of me, being too lound while high, always thinking he's right even in political discussions where there is no right answer. Always trying to grope me. Ugh. But he's harmless.

Pat: I haven't gotten to see much of Pat since me and Matt split, he's one of Matt's closest. I miss him, and he said ditto. So we're getting together in 3 weeks. Can't wait, he's one of my boys.

Rayner & Russel: My Philipino homies. Brothers by blood, not by mind. They resemble each other, but are totally different. I met Matt through ray-bear. I love them both.

Ronald: He'll be upset 'cause I wrote Ronald. He hates that. He likes Ron. Short and sweet. One of my closest, but we drifted away when me and Matt broke up. But we're in touch now, and I hope we can be close again. He's like a brother to me.

Casmir: The Toast Man! Cas and me...fitted for a while, but it wasen't to be. He's so funny. And so sweet. We talk often, even just to say hi, and get along really well. I like to consider him a good friend. =) Right boyo?

Neel: My brown ally. I wouldn't make it through the workday without him. He always has me in stiches. He's very clever. Very much a ladies man. Very dashing. I love you even if your running off to the canadian city of eternal rain and misery. I'll miss you a lot even if you don't think so. So whe are we going to see Scarlett's boobies?

Pascal, Wayne, Army-Jay, Mike, Jamie & Lisa: Not as close to me as the above, but I still have much affection for them all.

Sunday, not so bloody Sunday

Well, last night just...was?

I went out with Jay from work, I was his non-date-date, which is awesome, no stress. It was his friend's birthday, and they were having it at Cafe de la Republique, on Peel downtown. And it's exactly that, a cafe...That was the first sign that thing's weren't right (who has a party at a cafe?!) Turns out the chick's daddy is loaded, and he rented the entire upstairs of the cafe for her and her friends. No free booze (cheapskate). We get there, and it's empty. Mind you, we were 1 1/2 hours late, and there were only maybe, 11 people there...a LOT of open space. And it got a whole lot worse... Everybody was making out with everybody else. It was like the Twilight Zone, I was in high school again. And then all the little people decided to throw sugar packets at each other. Some kind of mating ritual? Ahem. Let's just leave it at that. We made a late entrance, and we retired quite early (after about 1 hour).

We went to Jay's place, and watched music videos, it was chill. Then he wanted to go to a party his friend was having at some bar in the East End. Now, I don't do the East all. But I said okay (Jay had the car keys). It was horrible. A crappy bar on Rosemont, just west of Christophe Colomb, and in the same building as where the old rat/insect exterminator warehouse used to be. Reall-ass ghetto. And it was full of french-canadian skinheads and wops. Lots and lots of wops. Wops galore. And unfortunatly, the rendering of wops included some of my cousins.

Good god. For shame, for shame.

I tried to look as bored as possible, and it worked, Jay took me home. He was awake and so was I so we watched Enemy at the Gates, and ordered pizza around 1:45am. He kept asking me questions...WEIRD questions:
"Would you sleep with a friend?"
"Would you think it was weird if you did?"
"Am I your friend?"
"Would you?"

Christ. There goes my idea that being each others non-date-date was a good thing. There it went, out the bloody window!

I yawned, to make my sleepiness obvious, and he left. I was relieved, I don't enjoy the cross-examinations at the wee hours of the morning. Especially after such a crappy evening. Oh, and with no booze in my system.

Today was good. I woke up around 1pm. I vacumed, I dusted, I did the dishes. I took a 2 hour bath and finished my book. Had a cup of tea. Then I called Greg, I was supposed to see his place in order to figure out where the couch would go. He's really chill, and we get along really well, so I'm really happy. One less stress. I walked the ten blocks home, it's nicer out today than the last few days: sunny, and it was -15, which is a sauna compared to yesterday and Friday's -30 disgusting-ness.

Chris called, and he was nice, but he didn't mention yesterday's shananigans (I can't spell, in case you hadn't're BLIND!) I was talking but whenever I'd finish, he'd keep quiet and go "....yea.....yea....." Like a CD on repeat. Bastard wasn't even listening to me. Shmuck! That's right, I called him a shmuck, yup, you read me! A shmuck! The foreskin after it's been cut off! Take that! Don't mess with me! Anyways, yea. He's supposed to call me later, he better damn well be listening to me then, or he'll get a dial tone.

Tonight, I'm going to relax, and watch Grey's Anatomy in my favorite way: half naked.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Things are getting better, but worse too

I found a roommate!

I got en email on Friday afternoon from a bloke called Greg, and he sounded normal and very nice, and then I noticed that he listed his company name at the bottom of the email...and looky here, it's one of our brokers!!!!!! I almost fell off my chair! I called him rather than email him back, and I was like: "Dude, I work for ***!"(I'm not telling you the company name). He was freaked out too, but that meant that we could trust each other to a certain extent, my boss had done deals with him beforehand. And it also turns out that his uncle is a...err, "known" broker (an ass...the worst kind, and I'm being generous) and I asked him flat out, are you like your uncle? And he laughed and said no, which is AWESOME.

I was showing the apartment to a Korean student, but I couldn't really understand what he was saying to me, his accent was heavy...And I felt bad, I think he really wanted the apartment, but I had my sights on Greg. I knew Greg wanted a long term agreement, and he wouldn't screw me on the rent, for christ sake, we work in real estate so we know the deal! Greg showed up, and he's a great guy, really easy going, and we got along really well, and he's got the furniture I don't have and vice-versa. And I told him how I love to cook, and he was pretty And we both rather watch movies than TV (Exept for Grey's Anatomy & ER!!!)

Tomorrow I'm going to Greg's apartment, and we're going to figure out if we're going to take his couch or not, aparently its super. As for my couch, I've offered to lend it to Eric and Kathryn for a year (if we take Greg's), that way they can save money, and have one less purchase to make, at least until they get a bit more stable in the money & furniture situation. It's always good to get a bit of help, and I'm glad to be of any help to them, they're my family and I love them.

I haven't spoken to Chris in 3 days, and I texted him that I found a roommate:
Me: "I found a roommate!"
Chris: "The girl?"
Me: "What girl????"
Chris: "Male or female?"
Me: "a guy, he's really cool and the coicidences are craaaazy!"
At this point, Chris kept mum. He didn't reply. He didn't give me a sign of life for over 3 hours. At which point I asked if he was mad, but he still kept quiet.

Dany-boy came over, and we had some pizza and watched a few flicks, and I told him what happened. Dany said that maybe Chris was jelous. Jelous? Jelous of what? Greg will be my roommate, not my sexmate, who does he take me for??? He should be fucking happy for me, after all the time and energy I spent looking for a fucking roommate! Shouldn't he be happy that I won't have to move into a box come July 1st? I'm not apologizing, it's rediculous. Bloody hell.

Friday, February 17, 2006


You know, I miss that: TGIF on Abc, I used to watch it every Friday night (before I discovered the wonders of a fake I.D. and alcohol,and before Family Matters & Step By Step got cancelled and before Boy Meets World went all crappy "Tapanga, Tapanga, Tapanga!" )

Okay, I'm done reminiscing. Other than that, 12 days to go before I get to see Motter. It's going by fast. I told dad that I'm going to Toronto on business, so he'll give me a ride to the airport on the 1st. I'm going to get a pedicure the day of, and the night before I'm going to get umm...stuff done. *ahem*

I'll be bringing his bday stuff, a poker set, 4 handmade shot glasses with a cactus blown on the inside of each, and a pack of plastic toy soldiers which I cleverly changed the label to read "Motter's Marauders" (inside joke).

When I spoke to him, he said he got my Valentine's Day card on the day of, and he was the only person in his company to get one. Then he asked me how I was, I said I was ok. I had just gotten paid, but had to part with $500.00 (half of the Italy money) that afternoon, and it hurt my bank card. He said "Why babe, can't buy food?" I said "No, I can't buy shoes, I'm short $28.00, damn". He laughed at me, said "Babe, when you come over, we'll go shopping and I'll buy you any one pair of shoes that you want." I said no, you're being too nice, etc. But I couldn't help it, the light pink Louboutin peep-toe pumps came rushing to my mind, and now I feel like I'm a golddigger, but I said no, you know? And I feel soooooo bad to having even considered to accept his very generous offer. Although, with him, it's not an offer I can refuse, he always tries to spoil me. And it makes me feel really bad. I know he means well, but I'm really not used to receiving gifts and stuff, Matt used to never spend more than a dime on me, even though I bankrupted myself spoiling him...*sigh*

Tomorrow Dany-boy is coming over for food and movies, then I'm accompanying Jay to a b-day party his buddy is having. It's a non-date-date. Me and Jay a close but neither of us are interested, which is awesome, a great friendship with no stress.

Gotta get back to work.

Thursday, February 16, 2006


Neel is leaving.

That's right, Neel is leaving.


You know where he's going? To FUCKING Vancouver, the city of rain and native prostitutes.

I can't even start listing the many feelings I'm experiencing, and none of them are of joy or happiness. He's leaving me.

Nacos left me (well he didn't leave me but he did leave, not that I cared but whatever! It counts!)

Motter left me

Eric and Kat (bastards) are leaving me

And now Neel is leaving me.



What about our plans to see Match Point and scope out Scarlett Johanson's boobies? HMM?
I was even gonna show you one of mine if you'd give me a ride home. Will I ever be happy again? (okay, I'm being meladromatic)




I almost died laughing:

From : Jeremy C.
Sent : February 15, 2006 6:07:55 PM
To : Monika M.
Subject : RE: Help?

Hey Monika,

to tell you the truth, Eric was mentioning that you like to walk around half naked at nights and are looking for a male roommate. lol. I'm surprised you're having any trouble at all. I was thinking about moving in myself when i heard about the half naked prancing, but now that you have a bf, no point. lol. Great guy by the way. Congrats. I will keep my ear to the ground for you and let you know if anything comes up.

Take care, Jeremy

From: "Monika M" To: Jeremy C.
Subject: Help? Date: Wed, 15 Feb 2006 15:39:27 -0500

Hey Jeremy,

I was wondering if I could drill you for info? Lol, what I mean is, do you know any non-life-threatning people who are looking to move out? Cause now that the bastards (Eric and Kat, I still love them though, just trying to make them feel bad) are moving out, I need a roommate. So I'm asking around... Anyways, hope you have a good evening.


potential? er...

Okay, so I've met two people so far for the room:

Yesterday on my lunch break, I had to run home to show the place to a guy called Robert. Now the only problem I have with Robert, is that he's 60.




...I'm 20, I'm loud, I walk arounf half naked, I sing (even if I'm tonedeaf), I dance in the kitchen while I do the dishes and cook, I bring other immature people in their 20's to the apartment and sometimes they don't leave, they sleep on the floor (passed out), I bring strange men home and don't give them my number.

The dude said he didn't mind, but still...He's very nice, but I'm not sure if I'm comfortable living with a...much wiser person...

The other one is called Abnon, and when he showed up at 8:30pm (he was supposed to come at 7:30pm), he was wearing plastic shiny black shoes. So I'm not sure...

In about an hour, I'm going to run back home because a guy named Mark is coming to see the apartment, let's see how that goes. We spoke on the phone yesterday, and he sounded young, so that's a good sign.

Wish me luck.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

slipping away

awww fuck

Nobody wants to go to the old orchard (yea, that means you too CASMIR) It's ok, I forgive you.


I can't go alone, I'll look like a loner... Excuse me, I'm going to go convince Cody.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

throw me a freaking bone here!

Well. That was interesting.

Just got off the phone with my dad who was wondering how to unlock his Ipod...I said "Dad, look at the top of your Ipod, see that little switch that says Hold on it? Slide it to your left so that you don't see any orange." "ahhhh" he says. "ahhh" I replied.

See, what I'm thinking is, how did he get in hold in the first place? one of the world's many mysteries...

Then the bombshell: "So did you get anything nice for valentine's day?"


See, he doesn't like Chris. At all. He doesn't know him, but he doesn't like him. Because:

a) He (chris) might or has tried to touch his (dad) daughter in dispicable ways.
b) He (chris) is taller than him(dad) (chris is 6'5, dad is 5'8-5'9)
c) He (chris) is rich, which might mean that I'll no longer need him(dad)
d) He (chris) is in the USA because he chose to go.
e) He (chris) is in the US Army because he chose to be.

"From anyone in particular? hmmmmm?" he says. At this point, I can just picture him in his car, raising and lowering his eyebrows questioningly as he waits for my answer.


"No" says I, "I have not"
"Are you sure?" says he.
"Leave me alone" says I.

Ugh. No card in sight. No delivery vans waiting at my door to press flowers into my dry (it's winter after all) hands.

Not that I believe in this "holiday", it's, as I've said before, a meaningless piece if commercial garbage.

Do I believe what I think?...umm. Ahem. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

the search goes on

Well, thanks to Neel's super brain power, he told me about craigslist montreal, and so yesterday I posted my add there and on the McGill site. I've had 5 emails so far, which is giving me hope.

Exept for the following:

One of them was a guy asking me what my fetishes were. I guess in his head, "roommate" equals "sex-partner-no-strings-attached-living-under-the-same-roof" Idiot.

Another guy sounds normal, exept his email address is jemesouviens @...

No way. No fucking way.

For those of you who are not from Canada, Je Me Souviens is what's on the license plates in Quebec, because the French-Canadians want to make a point of the fact that the british won the war against them and they are sore losers. Also, because aparently we (english speaking canadians) are aparently assimilating them.

Excuse me a moment. *breath*

It's not my fault if your kid listens to English music and English TV from the US & Canada. It's your own fault for letting them. I'm not "assimilating" your kids, its their bloddy choice to listen and watch stuff in English. FOR GOD'S SAKE IT WAS 200 YEARS AGO, GET OVER IT.


I'm not anti-french, my mom's french, and that culture is part of me. But I don't blame others because there is change and I don't like it. Things change. Styles come and go. And culture booms also happen. Should I be anti-german because of the Holocaust? No. Because it was years ago, and we must learn to forgive. Should I be anti-British because my Nonno was captured and tortured by them in the Second World War? No.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Cas, looooook!


Cas. I know your reading this. I'm not going to give you my schedule, 'cause it'll make me look too! Just kidding.

Boyo, d'you have any buddies who long to live away from their parents? Who love Monkland??? Cause I'm looking for a roommmate! The apartment's furnished (exept for their bedroom) and I'm giving an incentive on rent until July 1, 2006. Best case scenario: they sign with me for another year. Anyways. Yeah.

Crap my boss is coming!

valentine, shvalentine

So what?

What do I care? So what if I'm alone on Valentine's day? I don't care.

Big deal! Valentine's day is a worthless piece of commercialization (I don't care if that's not a word, I'm the one with the keyboard so shut it!).

Johnny is my valentine and I am his, but we're not even interested in each other, or seeing each other on the day of, for that matter. It's just a title so that we don't sound like loners.

And Chris doesn't care...and anyways, he's freeking far away, so that's his excuse (see, I'm broke and I still sent him a card! and it was one of those expensive pop-up things!!!) Bastard!

Eric and Kathryn are having a smooch fest on the night of, so I have to get out of the apartment. Where the hell will I go? I only get paid the next day, not like I can buy a cup of coffee! And I don't want to commit social suicide by hanging out at Starbucks on Valentine's Day by myself. Noooooo way.

Maybe if Neel is free we can be losers together.


what the hell

I made two posts this weekend and they're not showing up...

Friday, February 10, 2006

4 hours until freedom!

Woooooooot! t-minus 4 hours until freedom!

And what freedom is that? A shitty one.

I have to walk around the McGill & Concordia campuses and attatch my add for a room to sublet to every tree, post and shrub in sight. Then I have to repeat the entire thing all over again but in Monkland Village. In both instances, I will be freezing my ass off, it's -14 degrees celcius.

Then I get to go home and do a week's worth of dishes. Wow-ee what a lucky girl I am.

and then I don't even get to sleep in on Saturday morning, because my father is picking me up at 9am (the crack of freaking dawn) to take me to Hudson (UGH) to do family activities in the sub-zero temperatures.

At least I'm free on Sunday to sleep and moon about the apartment

Wednesday, February 8, 2006

so far, wednesday is a-ok

Not too bad.

Last night I froze my buns off waiting for the bus after work. At least I had my Ipod, probably the one thing I can depend on in this world. Actually no. It ran out of battery power this morning, so I was stuck hearing the guy sitting across from me on the bus coughing and making disgusting noises. Ugh.

When I'm having a bad morning (which is every morning, I'm not a morning person you see), I walk down de la Montagne and stare at the beautiful shoes in the window at Rosenstein's. *sigh* they have this gorgeous pair of Christian Lobouting pink peep-toe pumps and my heart leaps everytime I see them. Kind of sad if shoes make my heart leap and not men.

I'm starting to get my Italy trip details finalized, Maria called me this morning asking me which airport I wanted, Pisa or Florence? I said Florence! Not Pisa! I don't want my aunt to drive 2 hours to come get me, I wanna be as close as possible as to not trouble her.

Then Maria said it was an extra $150 to fly to Florence rather than Pisa, so I said: "Of course I'll fly to Pisa! If my aunt wants to see me, she can deal with the 2 hour drive!" Lol. The costs of life usually determine my course of action.

Since I got money, I'll be able to go to the Old Orchard like I usually do on Wednesdays. AND I'll be able to buy shampoo! woooot! Yay! And maybe a new toothbrush.

Okay okay, now, Kat will be the first one to say that I'm obsessed with my teeth. But, see, here's my reasoning:

a) I've never had a cavity.
b) I've never had any dental work of any kind.
c) I've always had perfectly straight teeth.

So then why not try to prolonge the smooth dental ride? Drills scare the living daulights out of me, I've heard them while I was sitting in the waiting room. It's not my idea of fun.

Therefore, I usually floss about 3 times a day, and brushing can go anywhere from 3 times, to 6 times a day, depending on how much time I have (or how lazy I am). But it's always three times a day minimum.

I also get nightmares where I'm about to go make a pitch with our investors for a BIG client or I've won the lottery and I'm on TV and my teeth have fallen out and I have to replace them with chicklets, and when I breathe with my mouth open and talk it makes a whistling noise.


Tuesday, February 7, 2006



no, not like *gasp* ohhh look at the cute dog!

more like *gasp* I'm going to tear off his head and eat it.

I just read a blog where the writer (a man) said he wouldn't meet any women in college because they were either:

a) in a relationship
b) gay
c) sluts

What happened to d) ? huh? HUH?

EXCUSE ME? Sluts? Just because they won't date you?

Buddy, the reason why your alone is cuz your a jerk. Just because a woman won't date you does not make the others sluts.

And by the way, why is it that if a guy has sex with 10 girls he's cool, but if a girl has sex with 10 guys, she's a slut? At least we ain't diggin' nobody's kidney.

You men are sluts too, don't you forget it.

the wife



Kat is supposed to be viewing my blog today, so before anything else I wanna say





CBC! What are you doing???

What the hell is going on?

The front page story today, is that a woman gave birth in the Toronto subway. BIG DEAL.

People. Come on! Okay miracle of life, etc etc, but there are more pressing stories to report, such as:

Radical Muslim cleric Abu Hamza al-Masri is guilty of fomenting racial hatred and inciting followers to kill non-Muslims, a jury in Britain has ruled.

And the polls opened for the Haitian election! There was a suicide bombing in Kandahar and 12 people died. But who cares right?

Freaking idiots. Open your bloody eyes.

Monday, February 6, 2006

party on wayne

She's a babe! Ssshhhaaaaawwwwiiiiing!

Just finished watching Wayne's World for the millionth time...I have a massive headache due to the extreme head-boping I was doing whilst reciting the lyrics to Bohemian Raphsody at the top of my lungs with Kat. My voice cracked around the same time as when our downstairs neighboor banged on his ceiling: time to shut up.

I'm proud of myself for having held back the urge to recite every line from the movie (only about 5 minutes total, and I mouthed the words ;) ). I felt proud, like a kid tying his shoelaces for the first time. It's my first step to recovery from the horrible illness: Reciting Lines From Movies. I've been afflicated for a while. It has to do with my relationship deficiency with movies in general. If there's a movie I'll like, I'll watch it literally, at LEAST 5 times. And by that time I know quite a few lines. But then, I'll dump it, for a newer better movie, with better special effects and sound technology. Or better looking actors, whichever.

It only got out of hand once, the summer of 1993, when I received the last 3 Star Wars movies on VHS. I watched The Return of the Jedi once a day, everyday, for about 7 weeks. I went NUTS. Wacko. Crazy. Pazzo! Only when I knew all of Chewi's, Jabba the Hutt's and every Ewok's lines (they're more like grunts and gibberish than lines, but you catch my drift) did I realize that I had a problem. So I stopped cold turkey, like I stopped smoking. And the last time I saw return of the Jedi, was about 5 years ago. So I'm proud of my resolve. I have beatten you George Lucas! No longer will Han Solo cloud my judgement!

Also, the fact is, I saw a recent picture of Harrisson Ford, and he looks old. Not...aged, but old like a grandad looks. Geez, my Nonno is 84 and he looks better, no jokes!

Harrisson, if your reading this, the first time I saw the Indiana Jones movies (I was 6 and I remember it clear as cristal) I turned to my dad and said: "Daddy, Indy is pretty" You've no idea how much teasing I endured from my family (when I mean my family, I mean my whole family, thousands of cousins). I took abuse for you. But your too old now. And I must tell you the truth, I can't hide my feelings any longer. Since grade 7, I've secretly been pinning for George Clooney. Yes. It's true, I won't deny it any longer. He did it for me on ER. He was a doctor!

At least I'm honest.

I'm better than that...I think? ah crap

So what?

So I'm alone on valentine's day? So what? Big deal?

Johnny agreed to be my valentine, even if we're not even considering being "together" nor will we be together that day. It's a title, so we don't feel left out.

You know what I get to do on Valentine's day? I get to coach Eric to make Kat a fabulous supper, and then I have to leave the apartment. Where the fuck am I supposed to go??? HMMM?

I only get paid the next day, and anyways, if I go out alone, I'll look like a loner. Not Cool. And getting paid is besides the point, I have to go to the travel agency and drop off $500 cash for my trip to Italy. I'm gonna be so poor =(

Anyways, I don't care. It's not like it's the end of the world. I mean, Valentine's Day is a meanless piece of comercializational garbage (no, comercializational might not be a word, shush, I can write what I want). You know what I mean right? Right.

a lamb to the slaughter


T-minus 15minutes before my pop shows up at my door and sends me off to the hickstown known as Hudson...

For good quality "family" bonding. Yeah. Right.

Anyways, I can't really write, my pent-up anger is about to come up for air, so I better go before I start biting people's heads off.

re: floodgates


I admit it, I lost my mind on Friday. Crying? I don't do that...normally. So let's carry on, forget about the "fat" issue, it's just me being brainwashed by pop culture. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to turn into scary-self-pitying-girl-person. I apologize. And I'm sorry Neel, I know you didn't mean it, but I'm kind of fragile at the moment, what with being homeless soon and alone, the stress of work added was too much for me. I'm much better now. I've even gotten my beautiful sarcastic self back! Yay!



I'm going to Italy for umm..wait lemme count: 9 days! Yay!

I can't WAIT. I miss my family....and they are:

Silvano: probably one of the most engaging people you will ever meet. Always cracking jokes, and has a very kind heart. Awesome cook, great cook. Owns two AMAZING restaurants in Florence: La Salamanca (Spanish) and Sesame (French-Moroccan fusion) He's my aunt's other half (they also have the same name!!!).

Silvana: my aunt. My favorite aunt. She is my favorite relative. And that's saying a lot because I have a LOT of relatives (I'm Italian, what did you expect). She owns a gelateria (ice cream shop) in Florence, right next to the Ponte Vecchio, where all the gold jewelers are. It's called Cafe della Carozze. Renowned for making the best ice cream in Italy. mmm. makes my mouth water. She's beautiful, and waif-like, and has a great sense of humor, and is one of the most loving people you will ever meet. It really sucks that she's so far away, but one day I'll win the lottery and will move back to the homeland. I diligently buy my loto ticket every week. Won so far: $30 + a free ticket. Not too shabby. Amount spent on tickets: ...ahem lets not go there.

Gianluca: the seed of the previously mentioned. My favorite cousin. He has been coming to Montreal every summer since he was born. And we've spent every summer together. Except for the past 2 years, as I've been working full time, and can't see him as often as I'd like. He's started his own band. He plays guitar, quite well I might add. When he becomes famous, I'll be his PR girl and will translate everything for him. Because I promised I would.

When we were kids, we used to spend all day playing all kinds of games. Sports too, even if we had to fight tooth and nail to let our Nonni's leave us alone. See, my Nonni's had (still have) this theory that during the Montreal summers (it can go up to 35 degrees Celsius) we should not go outside and shoot hoops. Why, you ask? Because if we go out, and we play for a few hours, we will sweat (which, might I add, is perfectly normal for people to sweat when they run around in 35 degree weather.) But when we finish playing, and we are all sweaty, we will sit in the shade to cool off, and by doing so (still according to the wise Nonnis) we will catch a cold, and be so sick that we might die. DIE! Ya, okay, I don't think so. But they are very old and therefore crazy. I love them, they brought me up, they are more parent figures to me than my real parents, and I'd kill for them, but they are crazy. Wacko.

So I'm going to see my relatives, and I will try my hardest to go without sleep and try to stop them from sleeping, in order to spend as much time with them as possible. Also, Gianluca is getting his driver's license. That means he will be my little minion for 9 days...well he'll probably rebel against it, so I'll have to fantasize that he is my little autista (chauffeur).



Monday morning

Did anybody watch Grey's Anatomy last night???

Holy shite.

It was awesome! Such a great episode. Exept for the fact that they are bastards for ending it the way they did. Now I wanna know what's gonna happen. And there's no new episode this week. Bastards! 2 weeks! I'm not patient either!

So, I, once again, am broke. But in a good way. I'm not starving or anything. It's just that I paid off my bills and now I must wait for more moolah to roll in. The next three pays are going to be killer. I'm going to limite myself to 60 bucks for three weeks (no counting bills) and I've cut up my credit card in order to stop spending. The problem is that I have to call my bank to send me a new one because I'm going to see Motter in 3 weeks. So we'll see how that goes.

Got to get back to work...5 days until the weekend!

Btw: Congrats to Pittsburg on winning the Superbowl!

Friday, February 3, 2006

the floodgates

Oh god

You know it's been a bad day when you've cried twice at work.

This morning Neel asked me how I was doing and I said meh. Meh because my "maybe" "boyfriend" Motter said I had to start watching what I ate, because he didn't want to have a fat girl. Fuck him. He weighs almost 250lbs! ok, he's 6'5 but still, he's not skinny. And he ain't all muscle too LET ME TELL YOU.

And he also said I had small boobs. For fucks sake. What a way to make me want to wait for you you fucking asshole. Ugh

And then to add to his cheek, Neel said I wasn't fat, I was just a whole lot of woman. He doesn't mean it in a bad way, he jokes. But I'm sensitive about that. I know I'm not skinny, I'm 5'2 and 120lbs. And I've always had an issue with my weight. Everyday I try to watch what I eat. And Everyday I wish I was 110 lbs. But it's not happening, even when I used to train with a trainer 4 times a week. I got more definition but I stayed the same. It's not as if I didn't try.

So that's why I cried in the first place.

The second time I cried was about 30 minutes ago, when dany emailed me that he wasn't going to move in with me. I am so screwed. I need a roommate by July 1st, or else I'll be out on the streets. FUCK. It is so bloody upsetting. And now I feel bad cause Eric and Kathryn have to keep paying their share on the flat, plus the rent on their new place until July, because they signed a contract with me. I know I shouldn't, it's their bloody choice, but I can't help it. What am I going to do? I'm so scared.

I'm alone, utterly alone, and now I'm going to be homeless too.

at least it's friday...


I'm going to get a dog.

I've decided to get a Basset Hound. It's good for apartment life, but it's still active like I am. The dog park is also close to my flat, so he'll be able to get some quality time with his buddies. I'm only going to adopt around August, that way I'll have time to get my boy a bed, some toys and set up the corner room as his little area. I'm also going to get a male, they're easier to neuter (I don't want him to get others pregnant). I've been picking out names, Old English names. I'll have to be patient, even though I want him right away.

Thursday, February 2, 2006

Channel 4's Gay-O-Meter


Apparently I'm 50% gay, and I quote:

"Congratulations! You've scored right in the middle and are a happy and well-adjusted hetero babe!"

yay! At least I've got some form of balance in my life, my sex life!

Click the link to find out how gay you are:

everyone's doing it

Four Jobs I've had:

1. Waitress at Bishop's Bar (very dodgy)
2. Licking envelopes at a local office. (shush I was 11 and I hadn't seen Seinfeld yet)
3. Cook at a restaurant during my artistic phase, I made great presentations. Was short lived.
4. Worked in customer service in a freight forwarder's office, typical conversation to American client on the phone: "No sir, we're not an island, we're on the continent. No sir we don't live in igloos, nope, we don't eat seal meat either."

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over:

1. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
2. Sleepy Hollow
3. Billy Elliott
4. Lost in Translation

Four Places I've Lived:

1. Monkland Village, NDG
2. Florence, Italy (not true...*sigh* i live there in my dreams though!)
3. Westmount, Mtl
4. Longueuil, QC

Four TV Shows I Love:

1.CSI & CSI New York
2. Law and Order & Law and Order SVU
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. ER

Four Places I've Vacationed:

1. Havana, Cuba
2. Rome, Italy
3. Ixtapa, Mexico
4. Disney World, Orlando

Four of My Favorite Dishes:

1. Sushi
2. Nonna's gnocci
3. Every dish made by Silvano R.
4. Grilled cheese (is that considered a dish?)

Four Sites I Visit Daily:

1. Rick Mercer's Blog :
2. Daily Oliver:

Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now:

1. Tokyo, Japan
2. Anywhere in Egypt
3. the UK
4. Home with a cup of tea

Wednesday, February 1, 2006


Well, I went to see Underwolrd II: Evolution last night. Pretty shitty. Pretty freeking shitty if you ask me.

The first half hour I was thinking "Yeah, action!!!" and then there was another 1 1/2 hours of crap. This movie was awful. Even the beauty of Kate Beckinsale (however you spell her last name) wasn't enough to keep me interested (not in a lesbian way). The sex scene which has embarrassed Scott Speedman so, and created a BIG thing in the interviews, well, let me tell you this: you only see the curve of the bottom of her left breast for about 2 secs, then they grind against each other (supposedly) naked, except all you see is her stomach and the side of her right thigh...And Speedman isn't any better. DUDE. C'MON, I PAID 10 BUCKS FOR THIS??!! Ugh. Okay, I understand that her husband was directing the movie and blah blah, but jeeesus don't make a big deal about nothing! Anyways, it's awful. The plot is thin to the point of non-existence, and one minute your told this this dude is the oldest and first Vampire in the universe, and next moment he's got a dad that's the oldest and first Vampire, even though 2 secs ago he was the oldest immortal. Yada yada, it's crap, special effects were effete crap as well. It was a disappointment for me.

I went to see it with Neel because he wanted to and whined. Well, next week it's my turn. We're going to see Brokeback Mountain (even if he says he won't have anything to do with gay cowboys) or Match Point (I wan see it for the movie itself, Neel is coming because Scarlett Johansen shows her boobies. Actually I want to see them to (in an admiring way, not lesbian).

Apart from that, my crappy evening (thanks to underlies disaster) became moreso crappier.

Chris called from the barracks, and apparently he was not happy with rooming with 145 chiseled horny men (his words, I call them boys). And then he went on and on and on about how he doesn't want me to come down if it's going to cause a problem, yada yada. And I was confused. I'd just agreed to his generous offer of playing for the ticket (I'm going to Italy, Georgia isn't in my budget) (he's also rich so he won't be in financial difficulties after). It had also taken me a few weeks to agree, it's hard for me to accept gifts, I'm used to having to pay for everything myself. So now I don't know what he wants.

He also made references to how I was a young thing, and wild at that (no comment) and it must be hard for me not to flirt back when I'm hit on etc. I was like: no, it's NOT hard. And he was like: "well, when I was on leave for 48 hours, I went to the bar and this chick was like 'i'd ride your backside' (or something similar) and I was embarrassed to tell her I had a girl in Montreal that I wouldn't see for 6 months."

What the hell is that supposed to mean? Bastard. Anyways, he tried to call me back later, but I didn't pick up, what the fuck is his deal????

Jamie says I won't last 6 months without sex. The max I've been without since losing my virginity, 1 month, 3 days. That's awful!

I feel so...dirty... But I haven't been with THAT many men, I was in two long term relationships (one 1 1/2 years, second 2 years and a few month). So there. I'm okay.

I feel so alone...Jamie is in a great relationship, he's nuts about the girl: Allison. Kat has Eric, Dany and Ren have found someone each, Cas has decided to put off relationships (work and school stress) and he's thrilled, Neel sleeps with whom he chooses, Destin is giving me the cold shoulder, me and Teron are drifting away from each other, and a lot of the boys are busy with work on weekends so it leaves me.


One person. Alone.