Monday, January 30, 2006

Monday troubles...

I am poor.

I'm BROKE

I have no CASH

until tomorrow...BUT

I have to pay rent...then my bus/subway pass, then my new Gucci bag *oops* let that slip.
Yes, once again I have fallen pray to the power of Gucci, and have purchased a bag that I cannot possibly afford. The worst it that I'm going to Europe in April. And both my credit cards are at the limit...so I owe 2k. Not a lot? pssshaa it's a hell of a lot! But I figure if I put around 100-200 bucks a pay into them, EACH, there's a slight chance I won't have to swim across the Atlantic Ocean in order to see my family. Well, actually, if I'm going to be honest, it would be swimming across the Atlantic, then through the Mediterranean Sea. I'm not in shape, I'll never make it alive. I'll be splashing about like a beached whale. And that is Not A Good Look.

And now, my bastard roommates (bastards!) are leaving me. You know why?

C'mon, you can guess it.

C'mon...

No?

Here's a hint:

They're BASTARDS!

I have to find a roommate. ARG. Or I'll have to live in a cardboard box.

Sigh. That means rent will be more expensive too (we were three now we'll be two)

I can't afford it, actually I can but I enjoy going out, I'm 20, aren't I supposed to go out? It's my right!

And I saw a beautiful pair of Michael Kors shoes, and I want them. I want them so bad =(

But I can buy them, or I wont be able to buy food to live. Or booze....OH GOD, no, I need my Gin & Tonic. It's my friend.

Well, I should get back to work...

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Why me????

Ugh

Great, freeking great.

We (Canadians) now have a bastard leading us. FUCK. I HATE Harper. He must be stopped. I'm of two minds to run up parliament hill and kicking him in the head. Ugh. How depressing. Great friggin start to the year, now we're stuck with this retard for 4 years...4 YEARS!

Okay, I'm done ranting now. D'you know, last night I went voting with my roommate, our riding poll was in the Church nearby, and I realized something: poll offices are the place to meet men. There were a lot of cute guys. I got checked out, and this reallllllly cute guy came over and started talking to me. He ended up giving me his number! Now I can't do anything 'cuz of Chris, but what a confidence booster. There's also the fact that men are only interested in me if I'm unavailable. I mean, wtf! They really enjoy the chase don't they? *sigh*

I also did my laundry, it had been almost 3 weeks, and lucky for me there was nobody at the laundromat, so I got it done quite quickly. 4 loads...

Destin made a comment about my boobs...See what happened is that we were discussing how little girls in elementry schools are wearing thongs and such, and they haven't hit puberty yet and dress like I do when I go clubbing...I'm 20!!! First time I wore makeup it was for prom! I mean...what happened to childhood? I miss being a kid, because I could be a goof and not have to worry about what people thought...and to be honest, I feel like I've lost some of my immagination...I used to be able to entertain myself for hours on end, but now it's harder to keep myself entertained when alone, without having to use TV, music...books...you know?

Okay back to my boobs, I'm average...36 B that's average no? Anyways, I hate my boobs, they are too small for my liking. I have self-esteem issues and I hate my body, but especially my boobs. And I was saying how the 13yr olds walk around with their chests sticking out and they haven't finished growing yet. And Destin said some of them did, and I said I didn't look at 13yr old's chests. And he said that's what he had to do to look at boobs cause it's not as if I had any.

Now, this whole convo was over the phone. And I'm ashamed to say that my eyes started watering, in my head I was thinking: "well, finally someone said it" Ugh. Anyways, I hung up on him. And he didn't call back, which was fine. But the problem is that I had to do laundry. I had a LOT of laundry. And whenever I have laundry I get a pita to go at the restaurant across the street, which is where he works. So I went and gave him the cold shoulder. I was just hurt, ya know?

So, got home after voting, we watched The Fifth Element again, and by again, it means that we've seen it about 20 times. It's just one of those movies. Anyways. Yea where was I? Right, so we were watching the movie, and Destin called and apologised and I said forget it, in the past etc. And then he asked if he could come by around 1am. I said no cause I had to sleep. He called at 1am and I said no. He called at 1:30am and said he was parked outside my apartment and had my Chappelle Show Season One with him. So I relented. And who shows up at the friggin door? Destin, decked out in boxers and a bathrobe. wtf?

He lead me to my bedroom where we could chat, and usually thats where we chatted, but I've been really nervous around him. And he was all over me, "you're beautiful, I can't stop thinking about you, you're so hot, you drive me crazy, etc etc". I was in hell. He kept trying to touch me and i'd push him off saying "N-O, no! I'm off limits". *sigh* I kicked him out at 2am.

I dont know what to do!!!

Monday, January 23, 2006

Bloody hell

Oh My Holy Jeesus.

You know what I've just found out? My ex (Matt) met this chick online a month ago. And she's like 17 (he's 25) and she hasn't finished high school yet. And aparently she got her tubes tied (*cough*bullshit*cough* what kind of a doctor ties 'em at her age??? It's an extensive procedure too *shiver*) But see, the magical pregnant fairy came and she got pregnant, with her tubes tied, by someone else. Then (this is where it gets interesting) she got pregnant again with Matt's baby, which is scientifically impossible considering she was already pregnant (i checked with my doc, he says she's insane, and Matt more so for believing her). But see, fate interveened by making her bang her stomach into a table corner and she lost the first baby, but Matt's baby is okay, now it has more room.

I laughed so hard. I mean, poor guy for being an idiot, but he's actually gonna marry this girl and they're having the kid! neither of them work...and he's been booted out of his parent's house. Jaysus! I mean, how stupid can you get, she hasn't finished high school! And word is, she gets drunk quite often...and everybody knows: Don't Drink Booze While Pregnant.

*shakes head*

Idiots...I mean, c'mon...Idiots!

New Years resolutions...kinda


Aight,

1. Will not smoke, it's very bad for me, etc.
2. Will not drink more than 10 alcohol units a week.
3. Will not spend money in savings on shoes and handbags.
4. Will be patient and wait for Chris to return.
5. Will try to be less loud.

Those were my resolutions on the 1st...Now we're the 23rd, so let's see where I stand:

1. Smoked half a pack on the first.
2. Drank 15 units in one night. (i.e. the 7th, hey, I lasted 6 days!)
3. Bought a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes...cost me $487.00 =(
4. I'm patient...sigh
5. Ya...that didn't even last 5 minutes, I am Italian, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

Alright, I also want to make an entry every day. That probably wont last, but I'll try my damnest.

The Chris thing is uhh...weird. Met him through the boys, 6'5, 250 lbs all muscle, not my type, I usually cower from such a blatant display of body strenght and head for the hills (even wearing 5" heels I can run like a rabbit, mind you, a frightened one). Anyways, he's in the US Army (I know ugh! Me who's so anti-war-mongering-americans) But see, he gets points for being born here in Canada, but loses them all and is in the negative for renouncing his Canadian citizenship in order to join the Army (his mum is american). Anyways, as soon as he walked in the door, all the boys were on him like leeches. "Did you use this type of gun?" "Have you used grenades" blah blah, it was as if they lost 10 years, and were once again the 18 yr olds they once were (actually, come to think of it, they haven't exactly matured much). I dunno, I thought he was cute.

Brock gave him my number, and he called...we had a date on the Friday (the 30th of Dec.) and he's not the big brute I thought he would be, he had finesse...he was, smart and his conversation was engaging. Don't judge a book by its cover right?

Anyways...I slept over...ahem, and he was full of compliments, telling me I'm beautiful (blind) and such...It was nice. And we had the biiiiiig NYE party at his condo, at Habitat and Jason was spinning, and so was Phil, and we were about 100 people...twas fun, drama, sex, drugs, lotsabooze and gossip, the usual.

I slept over that night too...But he had to leave the evening of the 1st, which made me sad... So he said it wasen't goodbye, it was just see ya, because he'd be back for a few hours in a week.

A few hours came down to 9 hours of blissfull time alone with him. When he did leave, it was for 6 months.

So now, it's been 2 weeks...But I may be going to see him for a few days in March. That would be nice. I'm finding it a lot harder to commit. Especially since he isn't here. I'm young (20) and this is the time for me to go nutz, not that I didn't party like crazy during the summer. But it's the summer, that's what your supposed to do.

I've gone clubbing every friday, sat and sun for the past 3 weekends, and I'm tired, but happy. But now there's a complication. My friend Destin has the hots for me. How do I know this you ask? Because he lunged at me last weekend and kissed me. And we said it was a passing insane moment. Then we were okay. Then this Sat. he lunged and kissed me again, and it's getting complicated. Aparently I drive him crazy (in other circomstances i would have been thrilled, I've always wanted to be the "driving the boys crazy" kind of gal, however, I've always been the "pretty and cute" but never "hot"...I need to get my boobs done or something!) (btw, just so u know, my self-confidance levels are low, very low, almost to the point of non-existance low)

Now he's given me an altumatum: either I got with him, or he'll be upset...Not much of an altumatum. He knows I'm waiting for Chris, but he says its rediculous, I've only known him for 8 days (days spend together, we talk on the phone everyday) and I shouldn't commit to something long-distance. I don't know. I thought I was doing the right thing, but now I'm having doubts. Serious doubts. Not just because of Destin. But I'm the type of person who likes to be affectionate to her significant other. And if the significant other is a thousand miles away, I feel it.

Ugh.

I have to do laundry. It's a crisis now. It's been three weeks, and I don't own that many clothes. I'll have to do it tonight after I go vote at my riding. Down with Harper! He's like a junior Bush. Not Cool. I refuse to have a man who is anti-everything exept white straight christians. Not Cool. Fucking racist, homophobic, prejudiced, anti-abortion bastard! Ugh, doens't he realize that its the 21st century, not the time of burning witches at the stake?

Anyways, I've run out of things to say. Bye for now.