Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Monday, May 29, 2006

haven't thought of a title yet

Weekend was okay.

It's gorgeous out... Well was, it was sunny, and above 25 Sat and Sun. Today, it's 28 but we're supposed to get thunderstorms today, tomorrow, wednesday and thursday.

Nice one.

Saturday I managed to get Greg off his ass and outside to the Old Port. We had sangria and sat under the sun and scoped out the merchandise (i.e. me for men, him for women). However, the fact that we were sitting together made it difficult. Men would smile at me but then see him and they'd hurry off. We've decided to get temporary tattoos that say "Not with this guy" or "We live together, but don't sleep together".

We went back to Monkland to meet Greg's sis (I forgot her name, but she's real sweet) and went to Typhoons, then home to nap for a few hours. I dragged his ass again to the Old Orchard, and we were lucky, because Shawn was bartending, and I have a soft spot for him. Who am I kidding, I was drooling, to Greg's amusement.

My buddy Zucchi came too, and that was nice, we hadn't seen each other in a while. We went back to my place, popped on Reign of Fire and we both fell asleep 20 minutes in (mind you, it was around 3am)

Sunday I went to my mum's place. She had come back from a mini-break in NYC, and brought me back a gift that I think is totally AWESOME.

It's an umbrella from the Metropolitan, and it's got period shoes all over it!

Totally me!

Also, I've been feeling unatractive, lonely, and un-loved so since shopping is my pick-me-up, I've decided to go buy the Sex and the City complete seasons box. I can't wait!

Friday, May 26, 2006

lonely Friday night

Nobody loves me.

It's friday night, and I'm at home alone with my roommate who's playing a computer game. Everybody cancelled on me because of the weather. Nobody loves me enough to brave the rain.

I'm so lonely.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Da Vinci Code? It blows

Went to see the Da Vinci Code with Kat and some of her classmates.

Boy, what a waste of $10.95. I effectively ruined the movie for myself by reading the book and knew all the punch lines and answers to the riddles. Also, what is the deal with Audrey Tatou looking perfect even after she's been kneeling on the dirty wet chapel floor (her knees were magically white and smooth once she got up) and when it's a wind storm at the end, and her hair is blown away, it magically stay in place. Thanks Hollywood!

Bah! I guess I'm jelous 'cause when I kneel in the dirt my knees get dirty and when it's really windy my hair is all over the place.

I had a lot of fun. I know that her buddies are in university, but it was nice to have smart conversations for a change. Usually the boys talk about:

Hot women they want to fuck but have no chance with
Average women they think they can fuck (but they can't)
Family Guy
The impending smoking ban (7 days)
The beer festival
Family Guy
The chance of having sex with a drunk hot girl at the beer festival
Cost of beer

You get my drift?


What was I talking about? Oh right.

So yeah, I had a lot of fun... They were a very cool bunch, and I'm glad Kat asked me to go.

The one thing I regret more than anything in my life is the fact that I didn't get the university experience... I didn't get to meet people my own age. A lot of friendship are made in those years and I won't get that opportunity. Which bums me out....

I'm outgoing, I've met people who are now good friends in all kinds of places (like the bus), but I wish I could meet more people. The more people you know, the more different views of life you get exposed to, and I think that is a vital element to growing, as a person. Being exposed to all kinds of views and cultures, what could be better?

Anywho... I have work to do, but I'm just really happy about last night (except for the movie), I had fun =)



Well, after clicking on a link supplied by Rob , I discovered the way I'll die:

While in a hardware store, a strange man picks up an axe and attacks you with it, dismembering your body.

Kinda creepy... If you wanna find out how you die, just click . Thanks Rob!

Monday, May 22, 2006

Because I'm too lazy to be creative and am still laughing at Greg's satin hideout

Mark your confessions:
[] I'm afraid of silence.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[] I'm afraid of the dark.
[] I'm afraid of facing my back to open doors at night.
[] I am homosexual.
[x] I believe in true love.
[x] I've run away from home.
[x] I listen to political music.
[x] I collect comic books.
[] I shut others out when I'm sad.
[x] I've stayed out all night.
[x] I open up to others easily.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I watch the news, some of the time.
[x] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I love Disney movies.
[] I am a sucker for green eyes
[] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse once in a while.
[] I have (had) "x"s in my screen name.
[x] I've slipped and fell in public.
[x] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation.
[] I love Spam...
[x] I bake well.
[] I have worn pajamas to class.
[] I have owned something from Abercrombie.
[x] I have a job.
[x] Talked on a phone for 5+ hours.
[] I love Dr. Phil
[] I like someone(s)
[] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I am self-conscious.
[x] I love to laugh.
[x] I have tried alcohol.
[x] I drink alcohol on a regular basis.
[x] I have tried a cigarette.
[x] I have smoked a pack in one day.
[x] I loved Lord of the Flies.
[] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I have a few scars.
[x] I've been out of this country.
[x] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I love chocolate.
[] I bite my nails.
[] I am not comfortable with being me.
[x] I play computer games when I'm bored.
[] Gotten lost in the city.
[x] Thought of suicide before.
[] Seen a shooting star
[] Had a serious surgery.
[x] Gone out in public in your pajamas.
[x] Have kissed a stranger.
[] Hugged a stranger.
[] Been in a bloody fist fight with someone of the same sex.
[x] Been in a fist fight.
[x] Been arrested.
[x] Laughed and had some type of beverage come out of your nose.
[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[x] Made out in an elevator.
[x] Swore at your parents.
[] Kicked a guy where it hurts on purpose
[] Been skydiving.
[] Been bungee jumping.
[x] Gotten stitches.
[] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] Bitten someone.
[x] Been to Niagara Falls.
[x] Gotten the chicken pox.
[] Crashed into a car.
[] been to Japan.
[x] Ridden in a taxi
[x] Shoplifted.
[] Been fired.
[x] Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[] Stole something from your job.
[x] Gone on a blind date.
[] Had a crush on a teacher/coach
[] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[x] Been to Europe.
[x] Slept with a co-worker.
[] Been married.
[] Gotten divorced.
[x] Saw someone/something dying.
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day.
[x] Been to Canada. I LIVE HERE!
[x] Been on a Plane.
[] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] Thrown up in a bar.
[x] Eaten sushi.
[x] Been snowboarding.
[x] Been skiing.
[x] Been ice skating
[x] Cried in public
[] Walked purposely into traffic with your eyes closed.
[x] Liked someone even though you knew you shouldn't have.
[x] Thought of someone almost 24/7
[] Hate the world.

Friday, May 19, 2006

neglecting the blog

I've been kinda busy this week at work.

Actually, no I'm lying, I have been busy, but I've also spent all of my free online time on Cragslist, because I am now completely obsessed with it.


Crazy. Madly. In. Love. With. Craigslist.

I'm obsessed with the missed connections, rants and raves, and most of all the "best of" list. I laughed so hard yesterday that my HOT (emphasizing on the HOT,. SCALDING temperature of said beverage) coffee came out of my nose. That's how hard I laughed. Now I have second degree burns inside my NOSE and probably my BRAIN CAVITY.

I am in total agony when I breathe.

Last night Marc-Antoni was coming to visit, and Destin and Cody and Donni and Alex showed up first and dragged me to Tokyo for a night of drinking and clubbing. Mind you I'm at work.

I am severely hung over, the worst I can remember, and I had about 2 and a half hours of sleep.


I keep seeing spots and shit, and try not to puke while staring at my bright screen.

I'm going out again tonight, god help me.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Mum's dog: Calypso

She's a Protuguese Water Dog

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Friday, May 12, 2006

The mtl working class suffers a hit once more

Well, once again, the working class of Montreal finds itself fucked over. It's been 3 weeks in a row where you'll find that it's hot and sunny during the week, but bloddy cold and RAINING on the weekend.

Why? Why must we suffer more? Already, we devote more time to work than to play, so isn't it fair if we at least get nice weather for play? So we can actually play instead of being stuck inside? Bastards!

The only thing that keeps me going is the thought of days off... That's bad for morale but at this point, I coulnd't give a shit. I just wanna sit and do nothing for a few hours. *sigh*

Last night I got my taxes back from the provincial government. Yay! Except that I can't spend any of it. In the total amount that I'm getting (from the Federal & Provincial), I'm only allowaing myself to spend $400.00. That is enough for a pair of jeans (I've stitched 7 holes in my only pair, I think it's fair to say I need new pants) and maybe a few shirts and skirts for the summer, OR it'll go to bills. More likely for jeans and bills.

The rest will go in my moving fund.

I budgeted, and found that I'll be able to save $250.00 each pay, twice a month, and that will also go to my moving fund. Now that I know what I want, and that I've figured out how to get it, there's no way I can be stopped. Hahaha!

My nights this week have been pretty lame... Mostly, I go home and pop in the next disk to 24: Season 1 (my mum lent it to me) because I've become addicted. Also, it makes me proud to see two Canadian actors, Keifer Sutherland and Elisha Cuthbert (I apologize, I cannot spell), be in a not great but addictive show.

It's like that time I went to Ron's place, and saw Alias for the first time, even thought I was bad-mouthing it, and became addicted, and watched Seasons 1-3 in one week. Mind you I was working during the day... I went nuts!

I did see Jamie on Tuesday night... We went for coffee and chatted for a few hours... Oh and I've also gone to get tanned every odd night. Oooo news flash: I'm not longer half-lobster woman! It faded leaving me brown =)

That's about it... I'm retardedly bored at work, and nobody is posting rants on CL Montreal, and therefore have a bleak outlook on the rest of my day... I hope I get work soon, my brain may collapse if not.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

watch what you say

I was thinking...

When I was in Florence, I was reminded how the approach to politics was different than the one we have in North America...

Here we discuss which leaders did what, why they're idiots, foreign policies, etc.

Over there, it's all about where you stand in the left-right world.

Florence is very much to the left, in many streets there are spray-painted symbols of the Hammer and Sickle.

I myself, am identified as being centre-left... I like the idea that everybody is equal, but to be honest with you, it doesn't work. Look at Russia. For god's sake, look at Cuba. I was there. They are starving to death. They get no food in their monthly "allowance" from Castro.

Meanwhile, Mr. Castro is living in beautiful air-conditioned buildings, always has a cigar hanging from his mouth, and eats all kinds of food. As much as he wants.

Funny, I thought he was dedicated to his people. I guess, power got to him, as it gets to every politician, and he got greedy. Greedy enough to reason that since he was the leader, he didn't have to follow the communist way he forced his people to live in.

Nice one.

The idea of communism is great, but even if capitalism exploits more often than not, I find it a better system.

If someone goes to school and works their ass off and become a doctor, shoulnd't they get paid more than someone who slacked and didn't do shit? If I was to earn the same as someone who did half the work as me, I'd be furious.

Tuesday, May 9, 2006


In an attempt to get tanned before anyone else, and be like a bronze goddess, I took a membership at the tanning salon near my house.

It set me back $60 (cause I also got tanned the day of).

The counter girl looked me over and said "15 minutes, Super, room 2". I said: "Huh?", but I was already being shooed into a little room by another counter girl before I could protest.

So there I am, lying down in a weird bed thing made of lights, naked except for a towel on my chest, and the little goggle things on my eyes. I shut myself in, press the button, and experienced extreme boredom for the next 15 minutes, as the only music on air was somekind of "Easy Listening For The Early Thirties" type. Ugh.

I got out after the light went out. Didn't feel any different, but that was to be expected. I could come back every second day or so, and it would take about 4 visits to be brown. I said sure, cause at 4 bucks a pop, it's not bankrupting me.

I felt fine during the evening. Only when I took off my clothes to go to bed, did I realize that my stomach was bright red and BURNED LIKE HELL. I had a LOBSTER for a stomach. Every time I turned over, I felt like I was being seared on a bbq.

This morning it's the same. Oddly enough, the rest of my body is darker, but didn't get sunburned. How odd.

I'M A MULTICOLORED ITALIAN. Half white and half red. Just like papa al pomodoro. Great, I've turned into traditional Tuscan fare. GREAT.

Friday, May 5, 2006


Me and the girl from marketing.

I'm not feeling very inspirational these days.

I've been bummed out because now that I know what I want to do, I have to wait a LONG time for it to happen (see 2nd counter).

We have an event at work today. My boss has a Cancer Foundation and over the past 17 years has raised over 5 million dollars for cancer research.

There were a few local celebrities, including this guy who's in the CFL and won the cup or something. I dunno, I'm not much for american or canadian football. I'm more of a soccer/F1/tennis girl myself.

We had to wear these huge tshirts, it felt like a dress but oh well.

Ironically, my boss could not be there, about 2 hours ago, his father-in-law lost his own battle with cancer.

Wednesday, May 3, 2006

why im so miserable

I always told myself I'd move to Italy. Because it's my country. I love it. Not just because of its beauty and history, but because it feels right when I there.

I've decided to immediatly stop saving for a condo, and instead start saving for a place in Florence. I might not end up living in Florence, I may move to another city, who knows. I've made a budget, one I can stick to, and I think I could relocate as soon as next year. But no rush. I'm only 20.

All I know is that I want to go as soon as I can. I finally have something that motivates me to get up in the morning. And I won't let anybody stop me. No man, no job, no friend will get in my way.

I don't want to sound mean... I feel a lot for Matt... But I won't let anything hold me back. He wouldn't, I know that, he always wants me to be happy. And I want him to be happy too. That's why I support him in his work choice. He may have to leave for 6 months to a year, if I understand correctly, for training, and I won't stop him. He'll be doing something he's been working at for a long time. And that is something that I am proud of. I'm very proud of him, and I know he understands why I have to go.

I told Kathryn. She looked kind of shocked. I understand though... The only people I've ever confided my dream to were my nonnis and my aunt.

The only people that make me hesistate to leave are my nonno and nonna. They aren't exactly middle-aged...and I fear the day that they leave me. They were the ones who brought me up, taught me Italian, and were always on my side, even when I was wrong. They're unconditional love for me has always been one of my greatest motivations in life.

Nonna says I'm the favorite, and they love me the most, because I was the first born, and that I always call them, and always visit. And I try to bring them fun news tidbits so that they may laugh a little. It's true, I sometimes get annoyed because they force feed me, or ask me the same question 6 times. But I don't mean to be sharp with them. I love them.

Oh god, I just re-read the last parts and feel very sorry for you, for putting you through all of that mushy stuff. I am so sorry.

I'll stop now, I'm getting bummed thinking about still being here, my nonnis leaving me, and Jim. I miss him so goddammed much, it's almost unbearable.

Tuesday, May 2, 2006

heart is smashed to pieces

Ah well.

I'm back.

I'm not exactly sunny about it. First off, I don't want to be here.... i'm jet lagged and have slept abbout 4 hours a night for over 6 days.

When I got in on Sunday, Mum called me, and said welcome back, are you sitting down?
I sat.
Monika, she said, Jim passed away on Monday.

Jim Armstrong. He is the husband of Eileen, they live near Platsburg in NY. They have seen me from being inside my mum's belly, to the younf woman typing these words. They are part of me, of my family. They are like aunt and uncle and I loved them to pieces.

I have not felt this kind of grief.... not ever. I crumpled. I was on the floor. I told mum i'd call her back. I hit the floor so hard with my fist that I've a huge bruise on my left hand.

Why? Why him? He was only in his mid fifties. Why did he have to die? I never got to say goodbye. I never got to tell him how I felt about him, how I loved him as an uncle, and that his great advice got me through many hurdles in life. I never got to say goodbye. I never got to hug him, and look at his rudy cheeks, his wide grin, his crinkly eyes. I never got to hear him say my name again.

I never got to tell him I love him.

I never got to say goodbye.