Friday, March 31, 2006

about to crash

Well, moving day is over, and my apartment looks likes its been hit by a bomb. Which is depressing. I'm too tired now to write much, just finished watching Ghost in the Shell for the 78th time.

Tomorrow i'll switch to Macross Plus The Movie.

I've been watching this series called Samurai Champloo, its great! I like the fact that they've incorporated hip hop into the series. Sunday I'll rent the 9-12th episodes from Sci-Fi (the anime store) Can't wait!

Anyways, I'm gonna go to bed now, before I collapse on Greg's comfy Baha or Bahaus or whatchacallit couch. All I know is that it's comfier than my 300 dollar Ikea one.

Nite nite



I'm posting from my house. But I can't stay long, we're trying to finish unpacking....I'll post pictures of my apartment and the whole story tomoroow (hopefully we'll be settled in by then)

Talk to you guys soon =)

Thursday, March 30, 2006




It's just that I'm finally getting the net at my place again. AND I'll have cable! I haven't had cable in almost a year! A YEAR! And I'll have a land line! A HOME PHONE!


I'm so happy =')

So now when funny things happen to me on the weekends, I won't forget about it, I'll be able to write an entry right away!

*bows head in shame*

Oh jeeeeeesus

I feel bad =s

Last night, Matt came over and brought food (mmm food) and we watched Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children.


I was so excited after seeing it, that I wanted to play it (my PSOne is still plugged in) but I couldn't because that would be rude. Well, what insued afterwards was even more rude.

I was feeling tired, my day was kinda shitty yesterday. I took Matt by the hand and led him to my bedroom, where I proceeded to lie down and fall asleep. I didn't mean to!

I swear! I didn't!

I woke up to find him leaning over me and telling me he had to go to work, and he'd call me later. And I felt sooooooooo bad because I hadn't given him any...

He left, I locked the door, and went back to sleep.

Whats wrong with me? I fell asleep at 8 o'clock! I'm turning into an old woman! *cries*

I hope he doesn't think I'm a tease (I was walking around half naked).

*sigh* I'm going to go window-shoe shopping at lunch, that'll cheer me up! =D

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

can you give it up?

I was reading Rob's newest entry (Northwest Observer, his link is on the right hand column), and it got me thinking about my addictions. Things that I was or am still addicted to.

When I graduated high school, I went nuts. I was constantly high. Constantly fucked up. For about a year this madness ensued, until my drug buddy Linda died of an overdose. I used to wake up, make coffee and light a cigarette. It used to be about a pack to a pack and half a day. Players Light. Then I'd roll a joint, cut it with tobacco. Have my coffee and smoke my j. That was a typical morning. I would only start cutting lines around 1pm, around lunch time. When I'd start getting paranoid, I'd pop a few of Valium. I got the Valium prescriptions from a shady pharmacist in the Plateau. I'm ashamed to say it, but I showed him my boobs and it got me all the Valium I wanted. Easy right?

Some days if I had to work the next day, I'd pop some speed. I used to pop it also when I wanted to lose weight, but after a few months of my cocaine diet, I didn't need to lose weight anymore. I weighed in at about 95 lbs at my skiniest. I was not a pretty picture.

One day Linda wanted to try heroin, I said why not. So we shot it up. There followed the most intense high I've ever had in my life.


I didn't want it to stop. I couldn't let it stop. I was gone. I'd done acid, weed, extasy, shrooms, heroin, and I lived off of cocaine and Valium. I smoked cigarettes, and drank most nights. But I'd never felt the way I felt after trying heroin.

A few days later, Linda overdosed with her partner. He died too. I was picked up by the local cretins in blue because they knew I lived with her. They needed someone to confirm the identity of her body. That's why I stopped. I went home, I flushed all my coke, my Valium, my cigarettes. I clogged up the toilet with all the drugs I was flushing, but I didn't care. I didn't want to die. I loved life.

It was terrible, first few nights, I couldn't sleep. I was feverish, always breaking out in a cold sweat, the withdrawal was harsh. I'd throw up blood sometimes. Mostly it was just my body trying to cope without drugs. I felt so bad. But I was determined to get clean, I was too young to die. 16 turning on 17 is too young to die.

I was a bitch at work, the lack of sleep was a killer. I couldn't have any cigarettes, and I had trouble stomaching eating because I couldn't smoke.

But I'm better. I've smoked a few cigarettes here and there, when I out and I feel like it. But it tastes like shit, and I wonder why I even started. Why would you want to smoke something that tastes sooooo bad? It's a mistery.

I haven't touched drugs....for the most part. I smoked a bit in January. I did some coke last summer. But only a few lines.

Now the only addictions I have can be counted on the fingers of one hand:

1. Coffee
2. Shoes
3. Booze
4. Sex
5. Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream

Speaking of ice cream, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to walk over and get myself a cone of Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz Buzz. The Ben & Jerry's store is only 3 blocks away =D

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Run! Our cover's blown!


The word is out. About me and Matt that is. Eric called me, he never actually got around to tell me why he called in the first place (I saw the missed call on my cell and I phoned him back).

He was like: "So I hear you and Matt are talking?" etc etc. He kept asking me questions about when, where, how much, we talked, if we were getting back together, if wehad seen each other.

It was a 6 minute conversation but it felt like it went on forever. He's such a sweet guy, he was so supportive about the whole deal. He was like: "That's great! I'm so happy! You guys were a great couple" etc. So now the cat's out of the bag.

Kathryn will skin me alive. I don't know where to turn to hide, because she knows me too well and knows all of my hiding places. Dear god, I'm gonna get shot.

I called Matt to tell him. He says it's my fault, which is true. Also, last night we made a bet on when everyone would find out or who would tell first, and the loser had to buy the other a blow up sheep. So now I have to come up with money to buy a blow up sheep. It's a joke you see.

We went to Séduction last year (it's a huuuuuge sex shop, as big as American Wal Marts), and they had a whole series of blown up animals, right next to the blow up dolls. Sheep, and cows, and bulls, and chickens with a hole for a mouth, butt and vagina. I laughed so hard, I actually had tears in my eyes. I even made a guy feel bad cause he was going to purchase one, a cow, and I screeched: "Are you serious?!" Which wasn't very metropolitain of me, but dude, I didn't expect them to actually have a market!

But, as I like to think, it's better (if you're into that) to fuck the balloon, not the actual animal. Because if I find out that your bum-raping animals, I'll kill you.


Monday, March 27, 2006

killing time

This is so bad, I have work to do, but I don't feel like it. I really don't feel like it.It's beautiful outside, sunny, and almost 10 degrees! Why should I be stuck in here when I could be out and about in the free beautiful world outside?


I wanna go home! I'm so BORED!

The only thing that has made me happy is that me and Matt have been text msg each other all day long... I sent: "I'm sorry, I must be annoying, but I miss you." He said: "You're not annoying, you make me smile" I said: "you make me happy" he says: "and u light up my life" awww I'm sorry, I don't want to become one of those sappy couples. We're not a couple yet...I don't think. Anyways, I don't want to read into it, it's the last thing I want to do. So I'll just take it as it comes, and enjoy the ride.

There's a funny email I just got, please be advised that it's got sexual content, and may not be suitable for some

Dear Management,

I would like a a raise for the following reasons:

1. I do physical labour.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7. I work in high temperatures.
8. My work exposes me to diseases.

Sincerely yours,


Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the management denies your request for the following reasons:

1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH brief work period.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen visiting other locations.
5. You do not t ake initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
8. You will retire LONG before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
11. And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.


The Management

good god!

Go Habs Go!

This weekend, the town was invaded by white and blue Maple Leaf jerseys. The cocky Torontonians thought it would be a good idea to try and invade our fair city.


We kicked Toronto's ASS on Thursday, and again on Saturday. We raped them 6-2. If it was actualy physical rape, their assholes would be bleeding. Excuse my vulgarity.

So now, we're in the playoff lineup. HA!

I was hanging around Crescent on Saturday afternoon. I was with Andrew. Now keep in mind that he's 6'3 and somewhere along the lines of 250lbs. I'm 5'2 and 115lbs. Yet he was holding me back as I shouted abuse at Leaf fans, screamed cheers when I saw the Hab's flag, and picked fights with Torontonians. When we crushed Toronto, sorry I meant anihilated Toronto, I was unstopable. Drew came out with me for protection, and I cheered with the red and blue mob outside, and laughed at the Leafs fans. I was like 'That's right! That's right bitch!"

I'm not very nice, but I'm allowed. Also, it was an awesome game cause there were about 6 fights. GO HABS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I screamed myself hoarse before the end of the night. lol

That was Saturday. Sunday, I met Matt (my ex)... Yea I know weird huh? Well, we were going to catch up, ya know? He left that pregnant girl in February, and didn't tell anyone.

We went downtown, he needed a book from Chapters. He's thinking of joining the RCMP, which is kind of strange, none of us really respect cops. In Montreal, there's a real racial issue. My buddy Jon came from NYC, he works up at Wall Street. He's black as night, but so the fuck what? He grew up in the Bronx, was the only on in his family to go to college. He's really successful, and he's really smart. He drove up from NYC to visit. We went downtown in his new Cadillac SUV. As he parked the car, we saw flashing lights, and cops came over to interogate him on how he had the car, etc. They thought he stole it 'cause he's black! BASTARDS!

Fucking racist bastards. They should all lose their jobs. Anyways, back to the matter at hand.

He bought the book, then we walked to Cafe Via Crescent for some coffee. We talked, and it was really weird, we weren't close anymore. This was the man who was my life for two years, used to be my best friend. We finished up, and walked to the Peel Park. We sat on a bench and talked easily, words flowed effortlessly, and I missed him. I missed him so much. He had grown up, matured, become a responsible adult.

We didn't know what to do, so he suggested we go to O'Regan's, which used to be "our" pub. We sat in the back. Since it was Sunday, there were only about 6 or 7 customers including ourselves, so it was a rather intimate setting.

We talked, joked around. Then I don't know how it happened...but we kissed. I thought my heart would burst, it was It felt so right. It feels right.

We talked about us, about why we had problems, he was open, and it made it easy. He's always been in my heart, he's the love of my life. At least so far, if it's meant to be.

We went back to my place, I told him to pick a movie. I ended up jumping him. So we had sex, and I cried after, because it made me remember other times... He picked a movie, I made us some food. And it was just perfect...I was content for once, not antsy.

We kinda drifted back to the bedroom for a second time...Then we watched CSI (Bastards! No new episode of Grey's Anatomy!!!!) Then he started making noises about leaving, I was falling asleep on his lap, and I had to work the next day (today ugh) I kissed him goodbye and went to sleep.

We've decided not to call it anything...we're just taking it as it is, and seeing where it goes. I like that, no stress. I don't know what we're supposed to tell everybody. Kathryn and Eric are going to kill me. Like, kill me. I'm scared for my life. Also, my family hates him because of how he was before. But he has changed. I'm a very critical person, and I know that he's changed. If it ends up being a relationship, they will have to accept my decision. I need my family, but I also need my life.

Friday, March 24, 2006

just because

I figure since it's friday afternoon and I'll be in the black hole which is no internet all weekend, I should write something. Except, you see, I have no inspiration.

Saturday I'm having a party, a It's-My-Last-Weekend-Without-A-Roommate-Complaining-About-The-Noise Party. Plenty of booze and boozers. A, good times, good times.

Maybe Monday I'll have a better story to tell you. The only things that happened to me today is that I accidentally flashed my boob to the Starbucks guy, and I got a free Dolce.

See, I'm wearing a low cut shirt, and was rearainging my boobs and one of them popped out for...air? anyways, the Starbucks guy had just taken my order, and when I handed him the money, he said no charge. I said "Thank you" he said "No, no, thank you"

If I'm ever in a bind, I'll flash my boobs for rent money, if it works for coffee, why not?

Thursday, March 23, 2006

un bello ragazzo


I was staring at this delicious italian man (which came in an email from a co-worker) and was in the process of drooling all over myself when I hear a stiffled laugh behind me.

I froze like...well, a rabbit. It was my boss, bent double with mirth, tears running down his cheeks. He had heard me sigh and came to investigate. He thought it was sooooo funny. He said: "Why do women complain about men staring at their bodies when women do the same?" I said "Sir I would never do such a thing, I'm merely interested in his mind"

That really made him laugh.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

My father's way of showing emotion

He called me yesterday afternoon, as I lay whimpering in self pity on the couch, and yelled at me for not alerting him to my discomfort. I conveyed my displeasure at his lack of sympathy by telling him that I couldn't talk, so how the hell was I going to let him know? He replied by bellowing: "WHAT?! STOP WHISPERING!" Good god, my ears are still ringing. He finally calmed down and managed to understand my request for Lipton Chicken Noodle Soup. He knew what I was talking about, because he described the box, the packet and the consistency of the broth and shape of noodles in order to get the right stuff.

Lo and behold, he shows up at my place with 5 grocery bags, crammed with foodstuffs. He made sure to keep at a steady 2 feet away from me while he dumped them unceremoniously on my counter. I thanked him, and he bolted. I opened the bags.


Nope, no soup! A couple of TV dinners (I don't eat those, they're horrid), many many many microwavable soups things (I don't have a microwave), bottles of water (I have a Brita!), a bottle of Orangina (the fizz on my throat brought tears to my eyes). So much for a rescue.

When he heard that I was at the office today, he told me to meet him by the street corner at my lunch hour. He was double parked, so I walked over, and he put down the passenger window and gave me yet another grocery bag. His wise words to me: "It makes me sad to see you so sick and depressed, so I got you this. Byeeeee!" And he drove off.

The contents of the bag: a ball of buffalo mozzarella.

*expression of disbelief*

Thanks dad, never before did I know that buffalo mozzarella (which is so much better than regular, it's actually almost 10 bucks a pop) would make me feel better. Because it wont. I'm not supposed to eat dairy. And I've now realized that your emotions range with cheeses.

Were you to give me a Cheesestring snack, it would equal to you disowning me. But the buffalo mozzarella is around a hug to pat on the back.

I wish his emotions would use the Shoe scale, instead of the Cheese scale. That surely means that the shoes I would receive would be either Stuart Weitzman's or Miu Miu's.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go place my ball of cheese in the fridge.

4 hours until my bed and I are reunited

Oh christ. Now, how more absurd can you get? No, seriously. I mean, he makes me want to smack my passport silly (I've dual citizenship). When I go see my family in April, I'll try to drop by Parliament and give him a good smack upside the head. If you ask me, he's got one too many loose bolts in that empty cage on top of his neck.

In other news:

I feel soooooooooo bad.

I shouldn't have come in today, I'm high off of all the medicine I've been ingesting. I keep spacing out when people talk to me, my boss just shakes his head when he sees me.

Actually BC, I'm not longer an EA. I'm an LA. lol

A leasing assistant. And unfortunatly, I don't work for Electronic Arts, that would be a sweet job. I work in industrial real estate, and as crazy as it sounds, I love my job.

I don't have anything interesting to share, being in bed at home for 3 days sort of limits the amount of fun stuff that could have happened to me. The most interesting thing I did was that I slept for about 3 hours without waking up because I couldn't breathe. That's right! 3 whole hours! Oh god, I'm so boring.

I'm alive

I didn't come into work yesterday, that's why I didn't post.

I went home from work early on Monday too...I was falling over and my boss told me to get some rest. So far, I've eaten half a grill cheese sandwich, gallons of NyQuill, DayQuill, Neo Citran, tea and water. This is since saturday. Can't be good for me, but you know when your sick, and you just can't stomach food? That's what I've got.

My voice is gone, it all raspy. My buddy Greg said I sound like a sex kitten, except for the bloodshot eyes and horrid cough.

Well, I'm at work now, gonna try to function for a bit. Thank you for your kind comments on Monday's post, made me smile =). I'll post soon.

Monday, March 20, 2006



I'm sick =(

Friday night I hit the town with Cody and these boys that were in my high school (I don't remember them but apparently they remember me, also, they were a grade below me, but we're the same age, cause I was born in October).

We went to Karinas, which is this shitty club/pub on Crescent. We had not choice, everywhere was packed, people and green as far as the eye can see. It was...boring. We left after about an hour. We then headed over to Cheers. Me and Cody's friend Ian were getting kinda of close. I knew he was attracted to me, as I was to him. He hung around me all evening. Then at some point, he asked me if I was seeing anyone, I replied in the negative. Then he sighed, and said: "I'd been alone for a long time, after a long-term relationship, just like you, but I started seeing this girl a few weeks ago." I said "Cool, I'm happy you've found somebody." We just looked at each other. We both got along really well, and there was chemistry, but he was reluctant because of his new relationship, and I'm reluctant because I used to date his friend, Cody's roommate, Jay. So we just sat there, leaning against each other, not talking.

Cody was going nuts, dancing with all the girls he could find. He ended up getting a number. But he'll probably never call her. We cabbed it back to Monkland, and went to Cody's. I picked up my bottle of Vodka and bade everyone a good night. On the way home, Destin called to tell me that he couldn't come out. Duh! At this point it was around 4am, so of course he couldn't come out, bars close at 3am. Dinkis.

Saturday was okay, Theon (the beautiful guy I mention on Friday's post) called me, and we had a nice conversation. I was getting sick, and you could hear it in my voice, so he said he'd call me during to week and maybe we could do dinner? I agreed. I was happy. I went to Hudson in the afternoon, we were celebrating my Nonna's 81st birthday. I started feeling sick, sore throat, aching muscles, etc. Got home around 8pm, and it got worse. Destin called at 10:40pm to say he was coming over. He finally showed up around 12:30am.

I was passed out on the couch, and I was feeling like shit. Destin took my temperature and it was of 41 degrees. Normally, our bodies are around 37.5 degrees.

Not. Good.

He slept over (no no, slept not sex), but he had to leave early because he was in the st-paddie's parade. We went to bed at like 5am, and we got up at 8am. I felt like I had been runned over by a tractor trailer.

I spent the whole day Sunday trying to breathe, drinking gallons of tea and Neo Citran, chugging pills like there was no tomorrow. I went to bed after Grey's Anatomy and woke up at 1am, choking. I called a cab and went to the ermergency room where they gave me oxygen, hooked me up to a cortizone IV and prescribed penicilin (excuse my spelling). I was discharged aroud 4am, and these nice ambulance driver ladies gave me a ride home. I didn't sleep much, and am much amazed that I came into work.

Alas, as I write this, my voice is kaput, my throat feels like a chain saw, my cough is deep, and it hurts my lungs when I breathe, as if I were breathing fire. When I took my shower this morning, I had to sit on the floor I was shaking so badly. I cabbed it to work, my 2 minute walk to the cabbie stop had my legs wobbling. I'd have never made it to the bus.


*shakes fist*

Friday, March 17, 2006

St-Patrick's Day, 1 day left till DRNKEN MANIA

Last night we had a function at our office. 76 guests, unscrupulous ones at that. Greg (my new roommate) came cause he was invited. But we left after about 5 minutes. It was older crowd. At least for me.

We went to Boccas for some drinks. I actually saw Emmanuel, a guy I was close with when I used to work at Paramount. It was kind great, we caught up on old times and had a blast. One of Emmanuel's buddies was this tall, gorgeous man that I had actually been playing eye tag with before I saw e-man. He came over, we started talking, I was very flattered, he could have had anybody there.

However, I had umm...forgotten that Greg was there. And he was telling me stuff like "What are you doing, I'll tell your dad, etc" I said to fuck off, that I didn't care and it was none of his, nor my dad's business. The thing is that the guy in question, Theon, is black. So what? What the fuck is the difference, black, white, brown, yellow with purple dots? We are all flesh and blood, and I cannot stand discrimination. It makes me REAL angry.

A while later, Greg came to me saying how he followed Theon into the bathroom, and heard him on his cell talking to like 2 different ladies, and being all sweet on them. So?


We're not getting married! I've gone on dates with different men in the same time period, they were just dates, not "boyfriends".

Anyways, he acted like a player, all cool and all. It's not like I'm looking for "the one". I'm just meeting people and having fun.

Anyways. I left the bar, Greg was going out to another place, but I was tired. I was about 10 blocks away when he called me and told me I forgot to pay for my 2 gin & tonics. But when we got there, he was like "Babe, the drinks are on me". So I didn't know that I had a tab. I asked him to cover me until the next day, and he refused. I asked him to tell George the bartender that I was so sorry, and that I'd pay him the next day.

So in a bit, I'll go to the bank, get money, and I'll send George the cash + a sorry note by messenger.

When I was walking towards Bishops, I got asked for direction by this Irish guy (I could tell by the accent) and he had a Kiss Me I'm Irish shirt on, which I didn't notice until he leaned me back and gave me a big kiss. I was too shocked to say anything, usually this kind of thing only happens on New Years Eve, if your unlucky enough to be walking down Ste-Cat's at midnight. He pulled away, kissed my hand and titled his hat to me. Did I mention he was wearing a hat? It was just...weird.

So yea, that was my evening. Me and Eric are trying to plan for Dim Sum tomorrow, because Sunday is the St-Paddies Parade. I've cleaned my Guinness hat, and am getting my tummy prepped for copious beer drinking.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

GRR Monika mad!

I am pissed.

No no, I am Super Pissed.


If I was Bruce Banner, I'd be turning big, green and mean right about now.

15 minutes later

Okay, not angry anymore. Well, not as much. See, I had to get gift certs from a high end retail store, and our company cheque was dated from 3 days ago. And they wouldn't accept it.

HELLO?! A company cheque is valid for six months! AND IT WAS CERTIFIED!

Bloody frigging retards!

So I spent about 45 yelling at them, the manager came out, I yelled at him too. The they gave me the goods. HA! I WIN! DUMMIES!

Okay, okay, breathe....See, all better.

Last night was pretty uneventful, Neel came over and we wathed The Mummy Returns, mostly because Neel wanted to see the two chicks fight half naked. *sigh* We had pizza and just relaxed. I also bitched about men, how whenever I meet anybody they are perverted bastards. No it's true, I'm not generalising because I said when I meet. I'm not talking about the ones I haven't met yet. They will get a chance to prove themselves when they get here. It's just, I haven't met guys who didn't see me as sex on legs with great shoes at the end of 'em.

In other news:

I walked by Hugo Boss this morning, and what beeeeaaaaaauuuutiful shoes they had. *sigh*

One day, me and the shoes I want will runs throught the grassy meadows hand in hand, while So Happy Together by the Turtles plays on in a sickly manner in the background. Tom Ford, Manolo Blahnik, Christian Louboutin and Oscar De La Renta will applaud me, and then give me all manner of free coututre.

It's sweet to dream.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

ohhhhhh so purrrty


Christ. Why do I do this to myself?

I went to Rosenstein's. I saw them. You know what I'm talking about. The pink peep-toe pumps from Christian Louboutin. After I mauled one of them about like it was a cheap whore, the saleslady asked if I wanted to try them on.

I did.

I almost came, I swear to god. They were perfect, made my feet look HOT. MUTHAFUCKING HOT!

I asked the price. The salesgirl had the cheek to give me a bashful look before running away and screaming over her shoulder to me:

"They're only $595.00!"




I want shoes =(

If not the Louboutin's, I'll settle for Manolo Blahniks! Or...or even Burberry! EVEN GUCCI!

More Pics!

Hard at work
TV Station in a
Peter Mansbridge transmitting live to The National.
The boys trying not to puke. They had to fly in at a very low altitude and therefore had a very bumpy ride.


Amazingly enough, it snowed one day, so here the boys are having their own war.
This is Dany

My step-dad Dany works for CBC (the equal to CNN/MSNBC for you americans out there). He;s been sent to Afganistan to follow the Canadian troops. He and his partner are always the ones sent abroad when there's a major conflict. He's been to Kosovo during the war, he was in Kuwait at the start of the US' war against Iraq. While in Kuwait, his hotel was bombed, and he and his team rushed to the roof to transmit to our shores. At this point, they were being hit with gas bombs, and while every other major world network had their employees scampering to the basement and shitting their pants, the courage of our Canadian news team was shown. Anyways, enough about that, here are some pictures.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

brain dead



Okay I'm done. Yup... I am so FREAKING bored.


Tomorrow is private shopping night, and Greg cancelled on me. So if anybody wants to go to Holt Renfrew with me tomorrow, it's free booze. And canapes. It starts at 6pm, so you gotta let me know tomorrow early afternoon at the latest.

Sunday is the St-Patrick's day parade. YESSSSS. I have money in my St-Patrick's Day Get Drunk Fund. My plans are for me and the boys to go out, have an Irishman's breakfast, watch the parade, throw stuff at Destin (he's in it), and then get fucked up. DRUNKEN MANIA WOOO! *ahem*

BTW: Cas! If ya wanna join, me and the boys will be downtown. Give me a call boyo!

So yea. I've got to buy something green. I'm not in the mood to flash my boobs in order to get a shamrock necklace. Too cold out. Brrr. I do, however, have my trusty Guinness cap, which I always wear, but which will have more significance on that great day. Also, I'll be voting again to make St-Patties a national vacation day. This would ensure that we get 3 days off in order to party like true Irsihmen. I'm not trying to stereotype, when I was in Dublin, my partying was small fries compared to everybody else.

I'll try to take as many pics as I can, and then I'll upload them onto my blog. Keep in mind that it'll only be the ones where I'm not shown as a drunken lunatic. Not. A. Good. Look.

Oh...Yeah I got in a "fight" with Kat too. Not her fault...but yea. Anyways.


Monday, March 13, 2006

look, my coffee cup

Let me explain

Okay, since there's only so much room for me to write in the comment area, I decided to answer questions as a post. Please note that I'm all over the place this morning, and am answering and ranting in no forseeable order. I apologize, but I forgot my brain on my pillow this morning, and am brain dead.

Yes, I own Ape Escape, and I played it again this weekend, on full blast. Squealing monkey sounds throughout my apartment building.

I am a bad canadian, The RCMP are the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. And I actually learned that Mounties and RCMP are the same thing. For shame, for shame. And curling? It's doesn't surprise me that you didn't know what it was Bad Critiq, it's mostly known in countries where the weather is colder. The northern US has a good team (I heard the announcer say it, otherwise I'd have never known).

Friday was an all time low for me. I was supposed to hang out with Neel, but that didn't happen. My mutual friends with my ex were having a party, and I didn't want to go alone, so I stayed at home. With a big L on my forehead.

I wish I had new shoes, except that my money situation is really bad. I wouldn't be able to travel anywhere except for the Montreal transit system, cause I have a monthly pass (re: nwobserver's generous offer of shoes) It's only until my next pay at the end of March, but still. This is because I have to give up $500 tomorrow to my ticket to Italy. *sigh*

I will try to see the Block Party this week, and I'll try to write a not-boring review. Unfortunatly, I tend to exell in the art of going way too much into details.

Ooo I like that kind of movie (Re: Bad Critiq on An American Haunting). I'll look out for it in the listings.

I'll tell you guys the story of me and Matt sometime. As for now, I really have to work, I'm buried in files.

I missed having a means to let out my thoughts this weekend. Can't wait till April 1st, when I'll have the net at home again! BTW: Bad Critiq, sorry if my emails sounded weird, I was checking my mail via my cell phone.

Friday, March 10, 2006




Neel cancelled on me!


6 hours left!

I'm going to see Chappelle's Block Party tonight with mister Neel.

<--- see?

Yea, other than that, I had a slow night. I laid low, had a date with my DVD player. I bought the last lord of the rings, but the extended version (cause I have the other two in extended version) and the Taxi trilogy. Now, don't confuse Taxi with the crappy US remake with Jimmy Fallon (who is awesome) and Queen Latifa (meh). Taxi is a French movie (French from France, not QC) and they made 3 of them. They are halarious. So I bought the boxed set.

Other than that, I had washed my face and put on my Aveda Facial Mask and Casmir shows up. I had like 1 minute to wipe it off and I put on my cap, I didn't want him to run away screaming at the sight of me. It was nice to see him though, we talk often, but haven't seen each other since November or maybe it was December. A loooonnnng time.

I plugged in my vintage PSOne last night, and played my vintage Ape Escape game. My neighbors banged on the wall, I guess the sound of screeching monkeys at one in the morning on a Thursday night wasn't their idea of fun. TOO BAD!

Remember how my ex is now engaged to a girl he's known for 6 months, and she's having a kid and its not his and she's 19? Well I called to wish him a happy belated bday (I was in Atlanta when it was his actual bday). He texted me that I was the only one apart from his girl and parents who remembered. He then proceeded to tell me that he was trying to join the RCMP, which is weird, I remember doing coke off of urinals with him, + he was constantly high.

I hope he doesn't get fucked up and then fall off his horse. Ooops, that's mounties. Wow, I'm a bad Canadian, I confuse RCMP with mounties and I don't get curling. I hope the govrnment doesn't find out, with Harper as our head honcho, I might get burned at the stake. Him and his party still probably believe in witches. I guess that's what happens when you live in the prairies.

6 hours left before freeeeedom!

Thursday, March 9, 2006

less of me

I've been thinking that I should lose some weight before the summer.

Okay, I'm not fat as such (I weigh 115lbs) but I would like to lose at least 5 pounds before April 21st, which is when I leave for Italy.

The only way I will be able to achieve this goal, is by not eating any sweets, no more bread, and lots of exercise. I don't know if I'll make it past the weekend.

Other than that, I had lunch with my new roommie Greg at Bocca's. I missed him, he's funny and always makes me laugh. We parted on the promise of each of us going home and passing out on our own couch, which is an awesome thing to do.

Last night Destin came over, and we watched part of Nip-Tuck Season 2 together. To which end we discussed the use of silicone dolls and sleeves for men. To which I asked: "How do you clean your doll?" To which Destin answered: "I'm leaving now".

I'm trying to psych myself up, I'm going to my boss this afternoon to give him "my honest opinion" about one of our buildings. Fingers crossed.

Next wednesday is private shopping night at Holt Renfrew. I just RSVP'd my invite, +1. I invited Greg. Last one was in December, and Casmir came with me, I don't think he liked it much though. Anyways, that's the exitement at this time, I had 2 pints at lunch and I only had a soup, so I'm feeling kind of tipsy. Ahem. Back to lopsided work I go.

what I'm thinking about? Just this...

I'm bored

Wednesday, March 8, 2006

I miss NYC



I met Chris at Brock's place one Sunday in December, after Dim Sum. He was cute and wasn't a big dope like I thought he would be (because he was so huge).

Now I realize that he IS in fact, a big dope.

We chatted, he asked Brock for my digits. Brock vouched for him, so that was a major factor in my decision to accept his invitation to dinner, a week later. We went for sushi on Friday the 30th. We got along great. I slept over.

Next morning, New Years eve, he brought me home, and I went to Holts to get my face put on by a proffessional. Me and Kat and Eric got ready, we picked up Brock, and we went out for supper. Chris and his buddies from Conneticut who were visiting, Amy and CJ, were meeting us at the restaurant. We had fun.

We all went back to Chris' dad's condo at Habitat 67, 'cause that's where the party was. Jay was spinning, lotsa fun and all. I slept over that night too. We got along really well, i thought it might be the start of something, but who was I kidding.

He was a Canadian who renounced his citizenship in order to join the US army (his mum's american). That was a BAD thing.

He was going back to the states for a week, then would be back for 2 days. We agreed to meet again when he'd get back.

He got back, I was falling for him. Then he left....again.

I decided to....not be with anybody else. Actually, it was a great excuse when undesirables hit on me. We talked almost everyday on the phone.

Then he convinced me to take a few days off and come visit him. He paid for the ticket. He promised to take me shopping and buy me shoes. LIAR

Ahem. Then he heard about my new roommate. He was aggressive and assholish. He was jelous. DUDE its a roommate, doesn't mean we'll be fucking. Christ. Then he kept getting upset when I went out with the boys. I always go out with the boys...that's what they are, BOYS! Nothing else. It actually IS possible for people of the opposite sex to be FRIENDS. What is this? High school? Bloody immature to say the least.

I started getting harrassed by him. Always calling. Always asking me where I was, what I was doing, who I was with. Like a police officer. my dad, when I was 16.

Fuck off, ya know?

Anyways, I didn't want to go see him anymore, I was fed up. The agressive and jelous thing? I can't stand that.

So I went, and now you know what happened.


Okay so now you know how my...ahem vacation went.

I didn't sleep Sunday night, I was really stressed for some reason, my heart was racing and my chest was tight.

Monday, as you can immagine, I was a wreck. I felt as if I'd been runned over my a tractor, and I was as white as a sheet. I kept shaking, and around 3pm, my boss sent me home. That's why I couldn't finish my post. I don't have the net at home anymore, I won't have it until April 1st actually, so for the next little while, I'll only be able to post and answer your comments during the day.

I slept on Monday night, and called in sick Tuesday, I had trouble walking straight without being dizzy. When I'm really tired, my body shuts down. Keep in mind that I hadn't slept since Thursday night, so it was only normal. Tuesday I updates my CDs on my itunes on my laptop, and watched Nip-Tuck Season 2 again. *sigh* Julian McMahon is GORGEOUS!

This morning, I started feeling better about myself. When I got off the bus at Guy and started walking the 6 blocks, the weirdest thing happened.

A cute guy ran up and started talking to me...we walked together and chatted and parted ways when I went down de Maisonneuve. He said: "See you tomorrow".

Maybe I'm not so destined to be alone after all.

I'm happy. It gave me confidence, and I'll be able to be funny again.

Don't despair guys, soon we will laugh again.

Oh god, I sound like one of those dirty french novelists. *shiver*

"vacation" from hell (part 2)

Sorry guys, I've been sick for the past day, but I'm back now.

where was I?

Right, so we left Atlanta, it's about 90 minutes away from Columbus. We got back to his place, and his roommate Hooper was back from the field. We all freshened up and went out for sushi. The restaurant was really close by, about a 5 minute drive. It's a really small place, but it was clean so I relaxed. Hooper was really funny, he's got a lot of energy and his laugh is contagious.

Me and Hooper were making jokes and Chris was like: "Babe, nobody wants to hear your stupid little comments" and that hurt. But Hooper told Chris to shove it, that I was hot and smelled good and was funnier than Chris so why shouldn't I make comments?

Monika: 1
Chris: NADA (hehehehehe)

You know how when you get Sake, you sip it right? Well, these barbarians were drinking it like shots. Bloody retards. The Chef was pointing at them and laughing, it was embarassing to be seen with those two. I didn't drink, I didn't wanna be offguard. We ordered, the food took ages to come and wasn't up to my snobby sushi standards, but I hadn't eaten all day and I was hungry. Hooper kept staring at me and giving me these meaningful little looks. He's good looking but also married, and cheating on his wife, so no thank you. He kept saying how beautiful I am, etc, and, it made me feel better about myself (Chris kept being an ass).

By the end of the meal, Chris and Hooper finished 9 bottles of Sake and were pissed drunk. Driving back to their place was scary, Hooper was trying to show off the acceleration rate of his car, even thought I assured him that his car was the bestest car in the whole wide world. We went to the Video Store, and rented Saw and Saw II.

We got back to their place, but Hoop wanted to party, so he got the homeboys from upstairs to get jiggy with it, and all of them were doing Tequilla shots. I just sat there trying in vain to click my heels together repeating "There's no place like home, there's no place like home".

Alas, I don't own ruby slippers, just beautiful Stuart Weitzman peep-toe pumps.

One of the brothers from upstairs, Lil' Shawn, kept going on and on about how hot I was, and I kept thanking him and thinking: aren't there girls in Columbus? Aparently not. I seemed to be the only woman in the entire county. Poor me.

So basically, I kept trying to watch the movies, but someone always tried to grab my ass, or my boobs, so I spent half my time swatting hands away.

Chris snores like a mofo, tearing down the rain forest. Around 1am he passed out on the couch, not noticing the extremely lound music and voices around him. I decided to follow his example. Except I went in his bedroom and locked the door (Hooper and Lil' Shawn kept trying to come in)

Around 4 am, someone kept banging at the door and I flung it open screeching: "What the FUCK do you WANT?!" And it was Chris. He proceeded to get naked while I hid my eyes, and go to sleep next to me.

The snoring. Oh my good lord, the snoring.

I went on the couch, but Hooper was playing some army game at full blast, everytime there was an explosion, the walls shook, but Chris slept on. I wonder how he's going to survive in Iraq if they get attacked at night. Even hitting him doesn't wake him up. He's a force to be reckoned with. After about 40 minutes, Hooper turns the CPU off. I was content. But then the ass decides to watch TV. UGH


After about 20 minutes, he played on the computer again. Then he went to bed.


At this point, it's around 7am. I'm in a baaaaad mood and I wanna sleep. I get woken up by Chris at 9am, and he forces me to sleep in his bed (luckily, he went out). I slept till 11am, when they were making a lot of noise in the kitchen.


Half dead. Need sleep and nourishment. Last night, in his drunken stupor, Hooper drove his car into the parking lot and hit a bump, therefore poping his tire.

We spend all day driving around Columbus trying to find a store that sells the specific type of tire. That's it.

Then we all went to supper with Brock, and then I slept over at Brock's place, because he was driving me to the airport the next morning, at 5:30am.

I didn't sleep.


We chat and joke and listen to music for the 70 minute drive to Atlanta Int'l Airport. Brock is a sweety and I thank him profusely for being so generous (waking up at a rediculously early hour and driving me to the airport). I get my ticket, go through security, and wait at my gate.

4 hours later, I'm in Neel's car, and we're going to Pho-Bac for some grub.


I am, however, new-shoeless.

Monday, March 6, 2006

"vacation" from hell

please note in the title the usage of " "


Okay, where to begin? I'll start with Wednesday, 'cause that's when the whole mess began.


I had packed all my crap the night before, and was resigned to the fact that I had to carry a huuuuuuge bag (clothes, shoes, Chris's bday presents), my laptop case (so I could finally get the new years pics) and my huge Miu Miu handbag (books, gum, ipod, etc). Walking up the hill to the 24 (the bus) was hell, I looked like the hunchback of Notre-Dame, exept I had good dental hygene and my Macage coat cost me a whopping $650. Getting on the bus was easy, I was at the first stop. Getting off when the bus is full and your Downtown, not so easy. I had an old man breathing down my neck, and his dental hygene was....non-existant. I ended up using my bag to push people aside, bastards wouldn't let me out!

I left work at 3pm, cause I had to drag my crap and my ass to the bu station, and take the shuttle to the airport like a bloody tourist. I got to the airport, 3 hours early (like I was supposed to) and I was at my gate by 5pm. My flight was a 7pm. ARG.

Flight was uneventful, we were given crappy cheesy crackers and water, thanks for your generosity Delta! I got to the airport, Chris was there, and we drove to Columbus Georgia, where he lives.

Did I mention where I was going? I was going to see Chris, who I was "seeing" and I landed in Atlanta.

At this point, I no longer...desired him, and christ, I protected my body from his wandering hands. He kept calling me "honey" and "babe" and "princess" and I wanted to vomit each time.

I feigned sleep until he left me alone.


Woke up, ran away from him and took a shower. We went to Fort Benning. Now, here is where it gets interesting.

You know what Fort Bening is? Do ya? Well, let me tell you, it sure as hell AIN'T a fort!

It's a strip mall. A. Strip. Mall. Like, what?!

He got upset because I kept yelling out: "A strip mall?" No but really, this is it????!!!!" "Your kidding!" "Can we go to the real Fort Bening now?"

And this is like, soldier central, so I had to not make any jokes about Americans, Bush and such, in case I got sent to Guantanamo Bay in chains. That would not be a good look.

Pretty boring stuff, we met his buddy Brock, and we went for lunch in downtown Columbus, which looks like the suburbs here. HA! Losers.

Then we went to this restaurant called Cheddars (what a name) and we sat at the bar and drank. That was my evening. Oh, I also claimed fatigue and my body belonged to me. Hahahaha.


Well, we went to Atlanta. Remember how he promised to take me shopping, and buy me a pair of shoes? Well.

No. Fucking. Shoes.

First of all, we got lost going to Neiman Marcus. Then, when we figured out where it was, Chris cut off some dude in a van and pulled the worse u-turn I've ever seen (he's a horrible driver). The dude in the van was pissed. He pulled a u-turn too. Then Chris went "Oh fuck, he's following us" and it's true, the van dude was racing to get us. The the bombshell, Chris goes: "Shit he's putting on a mask. Oh my god, Monika, get down"

I thought I was going to die. In my panic I called Eric and told him I was being chased and was going to get shot. I told him to give Kathryn my shoes. He was laughing at me.

Anyways, we lost him in the traffic, but still! I was in tears, I kept thinking about how if I survived, I would smack the dude from the NRA, whatshisname, Ben-Hur there...Thingny...umm Okay, It'll come to me.

We got to Neiman Marcus, everybody was telling me how nice my bubble skirt was (Chris thought it was a dress, sigh) and after a while I realized that he wasn't getting me anything. Nothing. He bought me a Starbucks iced coffee and that was it.

CHEAP BASTARD! LIAR! The Manolo's were calling me, and I'm ashamed to say that I was in tears as we left.


Crap my boss is calling me, I'll continue this post after lunch.

Dear Readers,

sorry sorry sorry sorry

I'm writing a post now!

i promise